Geeky Mama

Post-Twilight Reading

2009-08-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I wondered what to read after the Harry Potter series.
I read the His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, read some Neil Gaiman and life went on..but there was that momentary flash of panic after book 7.

Considering the Twilight series was what finally made our Tween into a book lover, it became very important to find something new for her to read (along the same vein, pardon the pun) after she finished the Twilight series. (Though, she does re-read them constantly, too. I've lost count..maybe she's re-read New Moon about 5 times now?) So - thanks to the Book Fairy Wendy, and some resourceful hunting of our own..we found some books for our Tween that helped get her past that "panic" after she finished Twilight.

I keep passing this list along to folks--so I figured I'll stick it here to refer to.

Our list of "What to read when you've read Twilight and need a new series to fall in love with..." (in order of how much we loved them).
It starts out YA Lit, and the list AFTER it is a bit more adult. I'll note the ones you really DON'T want your Tween to read.

1. The Mortal Instruments Series (trilogy)
by Cassandra Clare
http://www.mortalinstruments.com/mortalseries.html

The first book is: City of Bones

We loved these books so much! And, we noticed them because Stephenie Meyer apparently read them and liked them enough to review the books and put her name on the cover.. (saying she loved them, too)

She's working on a new trilogy now:
The Infernal Devices: A companion series to The Mortal Instruments
You can track progress of publication at: http://www.theinfernaldevices.com/
Book One: The Clockwork Angel, Simon and Schuster, 2010
Book Two: The Clockwork Prince, Simon and Schuster, 2011
Book Three: The Clockwork Princess, Simon and Schuster, 2012

2. The House of Night Series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast.
There are 5 books in the series so far, and the next book is in the series is titled: "Tempted" (House of Night Book 6)and is coming out October 27,2009.

The first book in the series is: Marked

Info at: http://www.houseofnightseries.com/
Synopsis/info on book 1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marked_(novel)

3. We read a couple of different series by LJ Smith.
We liked: The Vampire Diaries series, Nightworld 1, 2 and 3, The Secret Circle series.

It's also worth noting that this fall the Vampire Diaries are being made into a tv program on CW!

http://www.ljanesmith.net/booklist.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L._J._Smith_(author)

4. The Summoning and The Awakening by Kelley Armstrong.
These are the first two books (available now) in a trilogy (The Darkets Powers trilogy) being written by Kelley Armstrong - who has published for adults, but these are for YA audiences. (So they're more thrilling and angsty, not so scary).

http://www.kelleyarmstrong.com/aDarkest.htm

5. Evermore, by Alyson Noël. (And a new release, a followup: Blue Moon by Alyson Noël was just released July 7.) Apparently, these books are part of the "Immortals" series.

http://www.alysonnoel.com/IMMORTALS/index_immortals.php

For the Grown-Ups:

I've really liked:

1. The Mercy Thompson Series by Patricia Briggs
(4 available, a 5th available in Feb 2010)

2. The Kate Daniels Series by Ilona Andrews
(3 available, 4th book coming in May 2010)

3. The Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris
There are 9 available now, and these are these books are the basis for the HBO show "True Blood". (The Southern Vampire Series) *WARNING - NOT for kids*

..and of course, "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer as well.

MRA means life is never dull

2009-04-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our youngest child (MRA, aka Mr. Man) - we laugh a lot. Not that our other kids didn't sometimes say funny things..but this one - he's just a total ham.

Thanks to overhearing MRA and his playmates we've discovered that the ultimate threat between Kindergarten-ish aged kids is: "If you don't X...I'm not gonna invite you to my birthday party!!"

However, Mr. Man (coming up on age 5 very soon) has figured out that line doesn't work on mom & dad, because as we've pointed out to him - we're the ones throwing the party, so we'll be there, like it or not.

So.. his new threat (wait for it):
"If you don't let me do X (where x = play Wii past his bedtime, hit his sister, sleep in our bed instead of his) ..then you can't wipe my butt!!"

Yep - he seems to be under the mistaken impression that we WANT to wipe his poopy butt and that we're somehow broken up over not getting that task when he yells for one of us from the bathroom. Ha!

Two More funnies from MRA lately:
1. He was playing with Matchbox cars in the kitchen when one rolled a bit too far and ended up waaaaay under the gas range.
I said: "Oh no..sorry honey, but it looks like that one is gone for good."
Mr. Man said: "Nope.. it's gone for EEE-VIL!"

2. He's a HUGE SpongeBob fan and was looking through the garage for a bucket to wear over his head (in the SpongeBob movie Plankton controls the whole town by putting Chum Buckets on their head that control their minds).
After talking him out of that he marched around the house with a fly-swatter in hand chanting: "On Hail Mommy!" (Plankton's minions chanted: "All Hail Plankton")

I tried several times to explain it's "All Hail" not "On Hail"...but gave up when he said: "All Hail..No" (you might have to say this out loud to see why this cracked me up)..and I couldn't stop laughing.

Someone in Public Works doesn't like us

2009-02-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

This is the 4th time in about one calendar year. And we're 2 for 2 - each time it's snowed this week and last they've destroyed our mailbox.

We've only ever written an anonymous note saying how HAPPY we are with the city's excellent job plowing. (We wrote to thank the city because we're so impressed at how quick they are to plow us out each time. Doubly impressive because we live in the rural part of our town -- it turns to dirt road just past our house.)
We've never complained. I've never tried to pass or cut off a plow while driving..
Seriously, what did we do to this plow driver?

I'm not really complaining...after all it's poor Jeff who's there and has to deal with it. I'm sitting in Austin, TX in record breaking warmth. It's going to be 87 degrees (or warmer) here this afternoon.
I better enjoy it while I can..'cause it's going to be a tough adjustment to get off that airplane in MSP tonight to below zero windchill and fresh snow on the ground.

Happiness is...no commute on a snowy day

2008-12-30T15:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning I made it just in time for my bus downtown.. but the driver started to leave without me. So, I picked up the pace a bit and started running.. only to slip on the ice (oh, yeah, forgot about all that ice!) and then did a fantastic face first slide to a stop on the icy ground. (Ouch.)
This sent everything I was carrying scattering in three different directions - but at least it made the bus stop and wait for me. Probably out of pity. Or, maybe just because Metro Transit frowns on running over passengers and I was laying in the street right in the bus' path.

So, when I heard we'd have snow today (and I figured out that I'd twisted an ankle thanks to my icy belly flop) - I decided to work from home today.

I slept in a bit. Just threw on jeans and got to work around 7:30 like usual. Only, my commute this morning was just down a set of stairs and only involved turning on some lights and starting up the fireplace. Propping a pillow up under my sore ankle and powering up the laptop and the XM receiver unit.

Lucy and her friend (yet another sleep over at our house last night) woke up after I'd been working about 2 hours.. and then had another friend come over to join them to play. As I answer emails I faintly overhear all three girls playing teacher and tutoring 4 year old Michael on his letters and how to write his name. Then they ran around giggling and playing. Miraculously all 4 kids have left me alone down here to work and haven't interrupted any of my phone meetings.

So, I'm sitting in the lower level office/cave with the fireplace running, with scented candles, my iced tea and the XM playing indie music in the background...and whenever I look up from my work I see soft fluffy snow falling outside the double glass doors. It's gorgeous - especially because I have don't have to drive anywhere today.

The music is perfect (lots of Vampire Weekend, Kings Of Leon, Department of Eagles, Ra Ra Riot) the fireplace is cozy, the dogs are curled at my feet and I'm getting work done... and now Jeff is plowing out the driveway with Michael.

Today was darn near as perfect as a Tuesday at work can get. And not just 'cause I didn't fall on the ice (yet) today.

2008-12-19T10:22:00.000-08:00

I've been too stressed out for too long - I've lost my sense of humor.
So, yesterday and today I took some long overdue time off...and wouldn't you know it soon as I was better rested today I saw something on my work laptop that just cracked me up. I was working on some stuff yesterday from a colleague in India...and never even noticed the file name till just now.

The best part? I even have an email request that says something like: "Can you please help me with my BO issues?"

Lucy's Christmas Wishes

2008-12-19T09:30:00.001-08:00

In case you have a hard time reading 2nd Grader it says this:

----

My Christmas wishes..
First is a Webkinz because it's fun to play with them.
Second is for everyone to be rich because then no one would lose their house!
Third I wish for the war to end because people die and we have to give our money to them and that is how people lose their houses. Then I would wish for an American Girl doll because I love playing with them.
Last I would wish for a cool new room so I can have more fun in my room.

----

I happened to help in Lucy's classroom yesterday so I saw a couple of the other kids' Santa essays. The ones I saw read like you'd expect: I want an XBOX and a skateboard, etc.etc.

I wonder what Lucy's teacher must think of us right about now.

On a related note - last night Michael went to see Santa while Lucy and I were at Girl Scouts. When he sat on Santa's lap and was asked what he wanted for Christmas apparently his answer was: "A Nutcracker. So I can give it to my daddy."

I have NO idea where that one came from - we haven't been to a performance of the Nutcracker this year, and Jeff isn't a big walnut fan.. but, I'm sure Michael's answer was genuinely thought out because he's repeated it a few more times. ("..And, and I'm gonna open nuts up for Daddy!")

So, while I can't guess at where Michael's wish came from, I think I can explain Lucy's Christmas wish list...
This past summer we made a roadtrip to Chicago - just Lucy and mommy, to go to a baby shower for my oldest friend. (Oldest, as in - we've been friends for the longest time - not as in, she's old. 'Cause we're YOUNG, okay? Young and hip and ...ah hell, never mind.)

Lucy got bored with the games she'd packed and she's afraid to read in the car because she used to get car sick. So, she wanted my iPod. I had a bunch of saved up episodes of "This American Life" from NPR and she LOVED them. I think she listened to them all. At least one of them explained some of the foreign policy shortcomings of our country entering into the war in Iraq it's subsequent impact to our nation's fortunes. Tough stuff for a 2nd grader to comprehend - but she was digging it and asking me questions. I tried to explain in terms that were simple and not scary - but also realistic. We ARE a nation at war.

Flash forward to this winter. Whenever Lucy has asked for an expensive item we've explained that the economy is bad, and our jobs and standard of living are very precarious. Again - economic slowdown, inflation/deflation -- all tough concepts for a 7 year old to comprehend - so we tried to explain it gently in a way she'd understand.

She has Kit Kittredge® the American girl doll - and Kit is one of their historical dolls who lived during the Great Depression of the 1930s. Lucy has read the Kit historical fiction books and went to the Kit movie earlier this year, too. She understands a bit about that time - that people were losing their homes to bank foreclosures, many people lived with uncertainty about their jobs and money - and that there was also a farming calamity: the Dust Bowl.

We have tried to explain that the time we're living in is not quite as bad as during when Kit lived - certainly there's no dust bowl... but that no one knows how bad things are going to get just yet, or how many people will lose their jobs and it's time to be careful with the money that we earn from working as much as we can.

In the movie - one sign that a family was having hardship is that the mothers would start keeping chickens for the eggs and use the feedsacks to make dresses for the girls. I've explained to Lucy: "Look, we aren't keeping chickens yet, right? But, it's time to be careful so that we can continue to pay for our house."
Again, she seemed to understand, didn't seem overly anxious - and stopped whining for expensive new shirts from Justice for Girls or the latest DS game she's seen on TV, etc.

Apparently, when given a writing assignment at school, our soft-hearted daughter has put the "This American Life" episodes about the costs of the war in Iraq (and high costs of rebuilding the Iraqi infrastructure) together with her concerns about people losing their houses now.

And herein lies the difficult tight-rope-walk: We're not trying to make her anxious, just thoughtful and aware of the larger world around her.

While I think, on the one hand, it's good that she has things other than her own personal wants (XBOX, Guitar Hero..blah blah blah) on her mind.. we're going to have to be careful to not talk about news on the economic downturn or any of our money concerns in front of Luce..because she's a natural born worrier like her mother.

Perhaps when Santa still shows up with presents for her and her Christmas looks much like Christmases past her anxiety will ease up a bit.

In the meantime maybe it'll help if I say: "Don't worry honey. Look, we're not keeping chickens to sell the eggs yet."

iSpoiled

2008-12-02T18:08:00.000-08:00

When the iPhone first came out a year or two ago I was immediately enamored..but the sort of enamored which would be about like having a crush on Brad Pitt. Sure, he's nice to look at, but c'mon, he's not meant for mere mortals.
That's what the iPhone was like for me. For one thing, the price was way too high. The handset itself, the data plan to go with it - completely priced beyond our means.

For another, it was only available w/ AT&T and I have been with T-Mobile for at least a decade (actually, since before it was T-Mobile -- I was with VoiceStream before T-Mobile acquired them in mid-2000) and I figured I am or was locked into another 2 year contract or something.

And then a series of events took place with just the right timing..that worked out in the most unexpectedly positive ways for me: the new 3G phone came out with a lower price, there was a bit of a change in my role at work, a corporate policy change and then a corporate cell phone provider contract change...and next thing you know - I'm on AT&T with an iPhone. It just fell in my lap.
Well, that and a little expenditure on our part.

This is more technology than I ever needed or even knew I wanted.
It's even better than I thought. It feels extravagant. I just explained it to a colleague like this: it's like going in to a car dealership expecting to buy a used Toyota sedan with high miles. It'll be reliable transportation and get you to work.
And by some strange fortunate twist in fate you end up driving off the lot in a brand new Saab convertible. Turbo. Loaded. Beautiful. For the same price.

On the one hand, I really love it. On the other I feel somewhat guilty..a bit like: "I could have bought two goats for an impoverished family in the Durame area in Ethiopia for what I've spent on a gadget that lets me check Facebook on a whim or watch YouTube while riding the bus home from work."
Was it really necessary?
Heck no.
Does it feel like a treat every time I look at it, touch it or hear it ring?
Heck yeah.

-----

In other news...we're about to go Road Tripping. Jeff and the kids are coming with me on a business trip. THIS should be interesting.
Normally I go to far flung places on an airplane and work myself around the clock..8 to 10 hours at the client site and then another 6+ hours in the hotel room. Work until I drop.

This time..it'll be long days at the client site, but then I'll come back to the hotel and my kids and hubby will be there. That ought to keep me from overworking a bit. It will definitely be less lonely. :)

We're going to rural Missouri. Hopefully we find good weather and interesting sites along the way.

Rock Mabama! Rock Mabama!

2008-11-09T18:36:00.001-08:00

Mr. Man (age 4) had a kid's election at school. They voted for "red" or "blue" (after all they have really little kids at the school; infants all the way up to school agers) - but if they knew the name of the candidate they wanted they could also vote that way, too.
Michael was so excited - he had a sticker that said: "I Voted Today" and ran up to me and said: "Mama Mama! I voted!"
I said: "Really? Who'd you vote for?" and he started chanting and waving his arms:

"Rock Mabama! Rock Mabama! Rock Mabama!!"

Because we live in the north metro (and you can break down the voting statistics for our town and see that it went heavily in favor of McCain here) I asked him: "Who else voted for the same guy you did?" And he said: "Only two of us voted for Mabama."
There are like 25 kids in his class - and 2 voted for Mabama. ;)
I'm glad he had the courage to stick up for who he wanted. And if I had any doubts (based on the name pronunciation) that he actually knew who Obama is.. that was cleared up when my People magazine arrived.

As I carried in the magazine with Obama's picture on the front I said: "Michael, look who it is!"
And Michael came running and chanting again: "Rock Mabama! Rock Mabama! Rock Mabama!!"
and then he gave the front of the magazine a hug and a kiss. (No prompting at all from us - this was just his own natural response.)

Lucy's Christmas List

2008-10-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

Lucy's Christmas List

Mia (the big American Girl Doll) + her accessories/clothes
Many Gift Cards for Borders, Kohls, Game Stop, Target & Old Navy.
New Designing Nintendo DS game
Magic Tree House books
Stretchy Pants
Jeans (that have a way to tighten them at the waist, preferably)
Cute new shirts
New Puppy in my Pockets

Making a Fool of Myself, Once Again

2008-09-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have a special knack for saying just the wrong thing, sticking my foot in my mouth or just inadvertently making myself look like an idiot. Seriously, if I were a super hero I'd be "Awkward Woman" - my super power is making other people laugh at my own expense.

So today is the big first day at the client site. It's week two away from home, I was having a bad hair day, a rough time figuring out to wear..and I was running late to meet up with the consultants (all men) when I figured out I needed a product only women need, oh, just about every 28 days or so.
So, I ran down a back staircase to the little shop in the lobby and bought every box of Croatian OB they had. Whew, right? Not yet.

So, I pack up my back pack with my laptop and notebook and everything I'd need for the day. Part way through the morning session when we're working on our slides for the client presentation one of my colleagues had a coughing fit and I offered him some gum from my backpack. He admired my Japanese gum so I offered it around the table to all the consultants. They're all familiar with Europe (one is Czech, one is Portuguese and one was German), I'm only familiar with Japan so we were comparing notes on sweets and snacks. At which point I said: "Well, I also have some Japanese snacks in my backpack, too" - thinking to offer them as a mid-morning snack.
I grabbed the strawberry Pockey box and said: "And I have more!" and then grabbed...(drum roll please) the box of OB which I held up for all the men (it's all men - I'm the only woman in the group) to eat.

Before I could cringe in horror and throw it back in my back pack the Czech across the table said to me: "Uh. This is not edible."
....and then he tried (and failed) to keep from laughing at me. I don't remember what I mumbled as a come back - but I blushed furiously for a good 5 minutes or so...absolutely horrified I'd just shown off my tampons to the group. Of men. All men. Have I mentioned I'm the only woman in the group? Yeah.

So, yep. That's me. The hip world traveling professional making another graceful first impression with my European colleagues. Smoooooooth. (Not!)

Which one of these is not like the others? (Not edible!)

Day One in Zagreb

2008-09-29T04:37:00.001-07:00

My mission for today was this: Find warm shoes and a coat, get a bit acclimated to the time zone and the city. Mission accomplished!

Zagreb is lovely, the weather today was sunny, beautiful and a relatively warm 65 degrees. Perfect walking weather. So, I walked along Jurišićeva to Ban Josip Jelaĉić Square and found shopping all along the way.

I wandered through the the Dolac, the city's main market (aka "the Belly of Zagreb") - where there is a giant indoor market with every cheese,meat, pastry and ingredient you could ever want, and then upstairs is a giant outdoor market.

I wandered up more stairs past the Dolac to "upper town" and found more little markets and lots of quaint cafes. There are LOTS of outdoor cafes here - the Croatians seem to have even the Dutch beat with their cafe : person ratio I'd guess.

I managed to find a warm sweater (it's green of course - I'm so stuck on that color lately) in a little upper town shop for only 100 Kuna (that's like $20). I also managed to find a stylish jacket for over my suits this week..but that was, sadly, not such a good bargain. Oh well.

After finishing up my shopping a quick lunch I've headed back to work a bit this afternoon because now it's America's waking up time.
This will probably be the only day I have to wander around and take pictures - so I'm glad it was sunny and I'm pleased the schedule worked out this way.

やっぱり慣れた

2008-09-27T00:21:00.000-07:00

三年ぶり日本に戻って来た前、大変心配しました。

日本語忘れしまった、ゼミを日本語でやるの計画もあったし、本当に困った。でも、やはり大丈夫でした。だいたい覚えてきました。

考えなくと、日本語が口からやすやすと出った。しかし、考え過ぎだと神経が高ぶってしゃべられないです。と言う事で、多分頭の中には、日本語がまだまだ分かる。考えなくと自然に話せる。考え過ぎとダメだね。もちろん、前と比べるだと単語が絶対忘れた。それと言葉の間違い時もうありますね。でも、話が出来たでうれしかったね。

一週間だけが立った、夢にも日本語で見えます。昨夜の夢が半々日本語と英語になった。今朝起きたと電話があった。家の子供たちと話中で日本語で喋りたかった。びっくりしました！「ママが起きたばかりなのに」がちょうど口から出るところで「あら！英語しか分からないのに、ちゃんと英語で話さなくちゃだね」と思い出した。変な感じだった。

とりあえず、安心だね。日本語をまったく忘れた事ではないって、良かったね。

これから、アメリカに帰るとちゃんと日本語の練習をしなければ成りません。長い間使わないだと、もっともっと忘れるはずさ。勉強しないと今度日本へ来ると今頃の日本語で出来ないかもね。だから、ちゃんと練習した方がいいよね。

Now I am a HAPPY geek.

2008-09-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

I'm such a simple creature, really. It's all about the little things.
The certain smell of my favorite soap. My one and only favorite necklace.
When feeling stressed about the change in travel plans from Tokyo to Zagreb, all it takes to make me feel a bit better is a hot fudge sundae at Royal Host. (Well, that and a few pep talks from my hubby.) I've had two (sundaes) in the last two days and am feeling pretty even keel now.

I knew Akihabara would have plug adaptors and transformers I'd need (it's 220V in Croatia) and 電圧 is something I can speak about easily (thanks to a previous lifetime translating robotic and printing machinery schematics), so I figured I'd get it here where I could explain what I needed without any language barrier. I knew I'd be all set if I could make my way to my favorite electronics shop in Akihabara.

What I didn't know is that I'd find my favorite EVER game (ぷよぷよ） celebrated their 15th Anniversary by putting out a Nintendo DS version. I nearly shouted in joy right there in ソフマップ.

So, this (all my geeky goodies, only available in Japan or by import):

THIS is what happiness looks like to my inner geek. I had a smile I couldn't wipe off my face this entire afternoon. People in the subways noticed and either smiled back or looked at me like: ニコニコするな！

And as I floated on a cloud of happiness back to my hotel room to pack up all my goodies and charge up my DS for the long flight to Amsterdam, I saw something that would make my hubby's inner geek smile parked right in front of the hotel.

What I've learned this week

2008-09-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

Executive Version:

- There is oroshi: 下ろし　おろし (which is to lower)
and THEN there is oroshi: 卸し　おろし (which is a wholesaler).
Considering I was presenting on wholesale functionality all week, I'm embarassed to admit I didn't figure it out contextually right away. I eventually had to ask.
- ZAG is the Airport code for Zagreb, Croatia
- Temperature today in Tokyo = 86 degrees and 70% humidity (dew point = 70 degrees).
- Temperature today in Zagreb, Croatia = high temp of 50 degrees.
- Eddie Bauer has stores in Japan and although they only sell petite sizes, their clothes will fit big ol' gaijin like me.
- The electrical outlets in Croatia are like the kind used in Germany. Some REALLY helpful sites are: here and here.

The long rambling usual version:

All in all my week in Tokyo went very well. I think I did a good job, I know I managed to be helpful. I know I left the team here with more info. than they had before - I think that's mission accomplished.

The minor grumbles I have center around the fact that when we worked on the holiday (Tuesday the 23rd was a bank holiday here in Japan - the "Autumnal Equinox") no one clued me in that the building would be un-manned, un-air conditioned and that dress would be "casual".

The teams' preparation was a bit poor but they were respectful, thoughtful and bent over backwards to make sure I never served a drink or cleared up glasses. (As the presenter, it would have sent the wrong message for me to play any part that looked like an "OL".)
Click on link if you don't know what an "OL" is: OL Link

I had a working Japanese cell phone (that I grudgingly accepted - and it turned out handy in the end I guess), Suica (subway) pass and my employee ID worked on the badge readers here in the new office. It was as if I'd lived and worked here always - really it was that comfortable and easy.

Speaking of the office - that was quite a surprise. No one told me that they'd only just moved! They moved to a totally brand new purpose built skyscraper exactly one week before I arrived. The building still has some new paint smell - it's THAT new. And it's REALLY beautiful..

as beautiful as any office building I've ever seen. Gleaming, covered in the traditional "ran" (orchids - that are gifted when a new building or new business opens) - waterfall features and shining white floors. Amazing, really. I actually took pictures because it was so lovely.

The biggest surprise this week though was on my Wednesday morning first thing. I got a message from my boss asking me to call her right away. I reached her at home to find out they wanted me to go directly to Croatia from Tokyo.

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not unpack suitcases.
I spent Thursday wrangling with the Travel people - first talking them into holding me one of the last two seats left on the flight, then succeeding in getting them to NOT route me via a different flight than originally planned with four stops and three different air carriers (checking and re-checking luggage between air carriers I've never heard of in cities where I don't speak the language sounds like a travel nightmare to me..)..and then finally talking them down from $9,000 to $6,000 as a grand total and managing to book the ticket in a way that it wouldn't get held up in the approval chain and could be e-ticketed immediately. (And yes, that's cattle class, NOT business. One way flight legs are spendy.)

I was so shocked after the initial news that I was going to Zagreb (and it was morning - time for me to head to the office) that I quickly packed up my work bag for the day, ran to the office to get there to present...only to discover while on "auto-pilot" mode (due to the shock, I really think) I'd completely forgotten to pack my laptop.

Oops.

I ran back to the hotel and back again to the office (and when I say ran, I mean trains, taxis and sprinting through buildings in high heels and panty hose trying not to sweat off all my makeup) - and made it JUST in time to present. In fact, I walked into the conference room at 9:30am just as we were intended to begin and launched into presenting with great enthusiasm and while still catching my breath from my sprint. Go figure - I guess adrenaline works for me.

The end of this week has been lovely. I worked one day at the office and attended meetings - again, just as if I was always based here, and then Friday I worked from the hotel room.

I find working in a hotel room to be reallly efficient. No one bugs me, I can listen to music, I get SO much more work done. And, unlike working from home I don't feel like I have to do any cleaning up. No dishwasher to load, no guilt about not running the vacuum.
I work until I need a break or feel like I've gotten enough checked off my to-do list that I deserve a small reward, run an errand - then go back and work until I fall asleep.

Last night was a trip to Shibuya for MOS burger dinner and then to Omotesando to see the new Ometesando Hills building and toy shopping for the kids at Kiddyland.

I leave for Croatia in just under 24 hours now. I'm SO glad I have my camera with me as this is someplace I never imagined I'd get to visit.

Surreal Sunday

2008-09-21T01:36:00.000-07:00

Today has been a filled with brief surreal events in between some lovely familiar treats in Tokyo.

Surreal Event #1: 7:18 am
In my sleep clouded mind I heard a noise that sounded like doors clattering and then thought: "Someone is shaking my bed!" I connected the noise and the shaking and thought someone must be in my room shaking the bed.
I sat bolt upright and then realized the noise and the shaking bed were because there was an earthquake. (Side note: Earthquakes are super common here. The buildings are engineered for them - I'm on the 32nd floor and the hotel swayed and shook and life went on.)

I had intended to sleep in later than 7am, but couldn't get back to sleep after the (small) earthquake. (Side note 2: I am not scared of tornadoes, typhoons, hurricanes or any other natural disaster - I've been through lots of bad typhoons, been in the house when a tornado went right overhead and took down part of our fence and some of our roof shingles...but Earthquakes.. and I've been through over a dozen, they TERRIFY me. I'm working hard on not being panicked every time one makes the building sway - because they're so common - but they are my number one phobia in life.)

I had a nice call home where hubby was being a super over-acheiver and feeding 7 (yes, SEVEN) kids dinner and then enjoyed the hotel breakfast and headed out to make the most of my one free day despite the rainy weather.
I headed to Shibuya to hit my favorites: Tower Records, HMV, Sony Plaza, The Loft (LOVE IT - my all time favorite Tokyo store!), and MOS Burger for lunch. I checked into getting my quad-band phone operating here - but Docomo wouldn't swap SIM cards with me without a contract. No matter - it's kind of nice being unreachable. :)

Then I stumbled onto Surreal Event #2: 4:10　pm
突然な祭り - a festival. Shibuya is a BIG shopping/entertainment place. Oodles of people wandering around and when it's raining it's a sea of umbrellas as far as the eye can see. Suddenly there are drunk people running around in what look like white speedos and blue Happi coats on top. You can smell the beer, hear the shouts and see lots of golden shrines. It's a Festival! In the midst of the busiest part of Tokyo on a Sunday afternoon. Just a little added crazy to the day.

I got myself a Suica card (a card that has a chip imbedded in it that knows how much money you've placed on it - lets you just tap & go on any subway or JR train, plus you can buy stuff with it at convenience stores, etc.) and brought my shopping goodies back to my hotel room. I turned the TV on thinking I should get started with my translation of the presentation I'm giving tomorrow and ran smack dab into:

Surreal Event #3 4:45　pm:
A Japanese TV documentary all about St. Paul Minnesota and the Republican Convention. It was amazing to me to see completely different coverage (from a Japanese media perspective) of this event that I saw on TV a few weeks back in a very different way.
For one, the program asserts that only "Afro Americans" (and they got a Republican party head honcho on TV camera calling them "Afro Americans" !!!! to my GREAT surprise) are interested in Obama. The Japanese presenter also called Obama "very leftist, too liberal" in general conversation and repeatedly asserted that McCain would be the next President. So much for impartial reporting!

Probably the funniest part of the program was the 4th "section" of the documentary, which they seemed to devote the longest amount of time (they spent barely any time on the brief interview John McCain granted them): an interview with Dan Qualye that they filmed on Sept. 9th at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City.

They went on and on about how this was an extensive interview with an "important" figure Dan Quayle! This cracked me up because Dan Quayle is a laughing stock - a former Vice President who was a joke. He was known for not being able to spell and has otherwise been forgotten ever since - he couldn't even get funds to start a campaign in 1996 and has not been heard from in any public capacity, with the exception of the rumor he would appear on Dancing With the Stars, in about a decade! (Again, what a joke!)

I turned it off when Dan ceased making sense after about 20 minutes. The Japanese subtitles sure make him look a lot more articulate than he actually is in English.

Now I will head out for another 懐かしい meal at Royal Host and then try and crack down and get prepared for work tomorrow morning by translating my presentation.

It's Beautiful Where Jeff Is

2008-09-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

The Week that Was

2008-09-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

Things are so hectic I can't think straight. My to-do list at work (and home) has grown so long I'm flailing. So, I think it's best that I take a break for a moment to try and reflect on the week that just flew by.

First Day of School

Luce loves her new teacher, and I have high hopes she'll have a good year at school. She's turning into a bookworm and this makes me very happy for her.

Em is settling into Middle School with the sort of self-assured confidence of someone who knows who she is and what she wants and is READY.TO.GO.
It's amazing to me - because I don't have any memories of Middle School that don't make me cringe a bit remembering being painfully shy and unsure and desperately uncool..and Emma is brilliant, whip-smart and comfortable in her own skin.
She's the most unique combination I've ever seen - she's got her own funky style going on and is naturally gifted at making gobs of friends ..and yet she's been promoted ahead a grade level to advanced math and language arts and is trying out for the competitive math league team.
She's got the brains of a math geek in coupled with the look & social skills of a popular girl. I am so impressed by her and can't tell her enough how amazing she is.

Mr. Man went back to his pre-school for pre-K and loves his new teachers. I do, too. His lead teacher is a fresh import from Columbus, Ohio - which gives her a big ol' gold star in my book.
In typical third-child fashion, we have no pictures of his first day of school because mommy accidentally left the camera at the Elementary school. Oh well. He's happy and was surrounded immediately by all his old buddies who had been looking forward to his coming back to school after the summer break - his only complaint is that school is cutting into his TV watching time.

The RNC Invasion of the Twin Cities

It took me over 2.5 hours to get home after work on Wednesday thanks to John McCain staying at the Hilton attached to the building I work in. I confess that even though I didn't get home till 7pm that night I wanted to see Palin's speech in a weird sort of way that I can only compare to the feeling of wanting to scratch a mosquito bite or pick a scab. Gross.

I worked from home most other days this week - which was a treat and didn't involve having to face the fact that my city was overtaken by right wing political figures in Cadillac Escalades with black tinted windows and lots of G-men to protect them (the protesters mainly stayed in St. Paul - so Minneapolis took on a decidedly "fat cat" vibe). My friend Sharon and I seemed to be the only ones interested in playing "spot the G-man"...but then, it wasn't much of a challenge and it was less interesting than, say, the National Guard and the snipers on the parking garage roof that I could look at all day from my office window.

I'm pretty sure that Tom DeLay almost walked right into me (how dare I walk on the sidewalk when he was?) as I was walking back to my office on the sidewalk in from of the W hotel on Wednesday afternoon. He was in a big cowboy hat & these fancy jeans - and he reeked of too much cologne. Gross.

Here's a story to pretty much sum up the week with the RNC taking over the Twin Cities:

I'm riding in the car with Jeff at noon on Wednesday on our way to lunch, listening to MPR like usual... but we soon figure out it's been overtaken by RNC politcal pundits because all we can hear is stuff like:
"blah blah Evil Liberal Media blah blah blah the Conservative Majority will SAVE AMERICA blah blah Evil Liberal blah blah"

So, after I get fatigued hearing again how the majority of the nation is actually conservative (huh? really?) and that only evil baby-hating liberal freaks would question VP nom Sarah Palin's choice to go back to work 3 days after giving birth to her infant son..I ask Jeff to please change the channel to a music station.
We switch to the adult easy-listening-alternative music channel and land on a Norm Coleman (Republican Senator) commercial bashing Al Franken.
I threw up in my mouth a little bit and then I switched the radio off.

Lesson du jour

2008-08-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so type A. I'm a natural-born, world-class champion worry-wart.
I project so far ahead that, no joke, Jeff can recount times where I've taken some of our children's (probably normal) childhood misbehaviors and extrapolated that into how they'd never get through college and be degenerates, un-wed junkie parents, [insert your own worst fears about failing as a parent here], etc..

I'm mellowing a bit with age and experience, thankfully.

Some of these skills that I pick up as a mom translate back to work..and vice versa. Today I got reminded once again not to trip myself up looking so far ahead.

I've been struggling for weeks to complete a strategy project. I NEVER do strategy - it's not my job. I'm garden variety geek, thankyouverymuch. Ask me to debug a mis-encoded character stream. Tell me to find the failed cursor in a referenced library or package - I'm never happier than when I can figure out what the problem is.

But this. This was "suggest an approach the entire organization should follow" strategic mumbo-jumbo. I felt confused. Wondered if I had early Alzheimer's or maybe needed to go get a cup of coffee or three. I read and re-read ..and then re-read emails and thought I couldn't figure out what I was being asked to do.

Finally, I buckled down and typed that mutha OUT today.

My hand shook as I hit the "send" button to the team. I self-doubted, I whined a bit (just inside my head) and finally just closed my eyes and hit send.

Within an hour I got back a GLOWING email - complete with a thank you. Here's a comment from it that made me snort outloud: "You are a natural at process!"

I should kick my own behind for spending over a month dreading this and torturing myself. I shouldn't have worried so much. It's almost always not as bad as I think it will be.

A note from my sister ..

2008-08-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

(Click on Photo Above to see a larger version)
Message from my sister, K follows:

"Well, you would think someone who does fundraising for living would have no concern about sending out a message like this - but it feels a bit different when you are making a personal request. So, here it goes...

My roommate and one of my very best friends from college, had a beautiful baby boy last October, named Alex. However, on his second day of life he experienced his first seizure, and things only got worse. On a good day, Alex would have seizures every 15 minutes. On a bad day, he would seize for 8-10 hours.

After many months, many doctors, needles pricks, medications and tests, Alex was diagnosed with a very rare brain tumor called a Hypothalamus Hematoma. Fortunately, there is one doctor in all the country that could perform the life-saving surgery he needed, and at the beginning of July, Jenny, her husband Greg and baby Alex jumped a plane for Arizona, and there Alex had two brain surgeries.

This surgery was truly a miracle (and I thank all of you who prayed for him!), and I'm so happy to say that as of today, Alex has not yet had a seizure! However, this story is not over. Baby Alex is still on a great deal of medications, and will need extensive therapy. Alex had a stroke during the first brain surgery and unlike most 10 month old babies, Alex does not sit-up on his own or even roll-over. Though, with a lot of hard work, Alex has a very promising future.

It doesn't take a lot to figure out emotionally what this does to a family, but what a lot us don't know is what it does FINANCIALLY. Jenny and Greg were a two-income family, which over the past year has been primarily one. Not to mention the FLOOD of bills from his nearly continuous hospital stays since birth, brain surgeries, medications, therapy, etc..

My roommates from college & me, are organizing a benefit (in Cincinnati, Ohio) for Baby Alex in hopes to help lessen pain of this experience, at least financially.

If you can, please attend. If you would like to make a donation checks should be made out to "The Alex Keener Fund", you can send it to the address listed on the flyer, or contact me and I'll send you an address. If you're in Ohio - you can donate directly to the Alex Keener Fund at any FifthThird bank location."

Thank You

The Boys of Summer

2008-08-19T12:21:00.001-07:00

I keep trying to remind myself (despite the stress of being down to a single income) that this is the summer that our kids are likely to remember as one of the best.

They're getting to sleep in almost every day. Daddy is home with them most days and on days when they don't stay home they get to go ride in a canoe, go to the beach or hang out in a hammock at Tiina's house. On Fridays Daddy always tries to do something fun.. like a boat ride and picnic at the beach. It's probably the best summer these kids, as children of a two-income earning family, will ever have.

It Just Keeps Getting Better

2008-08-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

During the long drive home from Chicago we couldn't get the DVD player to work, so Miss Lucy was without her preferred form of entertainment. She decided she wanted my iPod and wanted to "hear a story". I put on "This American Life" for her and ...she loved it. This was a pleasant surprise and another reminder of why it is so cool that the kids are getting older.
She was also eager to talk to me and make me laugh - which made her a great traveling companion.

She'd also been trying to convince me I should pay her for her good behavior (she's trying to save up money for yet another American Girl Doll and has only $13 at the moment) and kept attempting to talk me into giving her a dollar. I carefully explained that she'd be paid only for extra chores around the house or something extra-ordinary. She listened carefully when I laid out my logic that good behavior is expected and therefore not something to be monetarily rewarded.

Shortly after that we reached our town and as we drove past the lake near our house I said something about how pretty it was with the sun shining on the lake and then Lucy began to sort of sing.. just sort of wordless pretty sounds like:
"ooooh.....aaaaaahhhh ....ooooooooh...."

And then she paused to take a breath and said:

"You know Mom, it costs extra for this background music."

I laughed so hard we're lucky we stayed on the road and didn't end up in the Lake.

It's in their blood

2008-08-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Having my Dad and step-mom here for a visit has been a re-affirmation that a lot of my personality is hard wired...and those genetics must be strong because we see my Dad so clearly in Mr. Man and Lucy-lou. Sure, some of the things (bossy, loud, strong-willed) can be chalked up to normal childhood behaviors. But other bits..are just stunning reminders of everything I try and fight in my own personality with lots of therapy.

My stepmom said it probably the best..(hence the title) ..she observed Michael demanding silence from the others in the TV room so he could watch Star Wars and I shook my head and said: "He is so like my Dad"..and Donna said: "It's in his blood". I like saying "genetics" better than blood.. but I get what she means.

I've been reminded, as we watch the Olympics (and Lucy is REALLY into them) that there are some other personality glitches I have that are all mine.
I can't watch someone win a sporting event (like Michael Phelps winning his first gold medal) without crying. I have the same problem at any school event where our kids have to go in front of a crowd of people. Emma's 5th grade graduation, Lucy singing in a pre-school Christmas program.. even at church when they pass out the Bibles to the kids or a baby is Baptized. Jeff has become so used to it he nudges me in the ribs with his elbow and grins at me. (I think he likes that I'm so predictable. I'm somewhat mortified that I can't not cry.)

I wonder if this will happen to Lucy as she gets older. This inability to not feel so much for the person doing their best in front of the crowd that the tears well up.
If so, it's in her blood I suppose.

Making the Best of It

2008-07-12T15:42:00.000-07:00

It is now, according to the local time, my birthday. And I'm alone some 4000+ miles from home. But rather than whine about it (because really, it's not that big a deal to me) I think instead I'll recount some lessons learned / high points from today:

1. I allowed myself to skip the touristy crap and stuck to what makes me happy.

The end result was brilliant. Today I slept in as late as I wanted, went to my favorite French bakery for Leek quiche and breakfast tea, then wandered about Camden Town - which was fantastic. I went back the hotel late afternoon for HobNobs and tea and then hopped back on the Tube to see an independent film in Piccadilly.
The film 'A Complete History of My Sexual Failures' was really funny - and something I'd never get to see at home. Then I had a late dinner at a burger place I'd been wanting to try.
(Chili burger + onion rings = Yum)

2. I'm a resourceful girl.

When the hotel lost my laundry I vowed I'd find another way to wash up the bits I have left. I found a wonderful lavender-scented washing up powder and did a load in the bath tub. I also found a way to brew my iced tea with a glass jug I scrounged up (once I dumped out the hideous prune juice that came with it!). I found a used books store and replenished my supply of reading materials, and found bath salts to replace my dwindling supply of Japanese bath salts. I'm all about the creature comforts, aren't I?

3. I'm not afraid to look stupid.

While I'm not doing touristy things - I'm not afraid to whip out my camera and take photos of gorgeous sites to send back to my kids. This is a beautiful, beautiful city. I'd like it here even more if I weren't missing my kids and husband so very very much.

4. Sometimes, I really am better off by myself.

I was meant to hook up with two co-workers to sight-see today. They went to Wimbledon & to see a Play: "Jersey Boys". No offense to them - but I definitely wouldn't have enjoyed those as much as what I did on my own.
Tomorrow they want to get up early to tour Windsor Castle. I'd rather sleep in and then get the 11am train to Oxford and see Christchurch. That is, if I feel like splurging on nearly 40 GBP for train tickets round trip..which at the moment I'm thinking: Um, not so much.
Probably I'll sleep in, have tea and quiche at the French bakery and then go admire Libertys of London and wander around Oxford Circus.

Do as I say, not as I do...

2008-07-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

I was in a waiting room somewhere and picked up a parenting magazine (we only subscribe to junk like People and Esquire at our house - that and hubby gets every Car magazine known to man). The article on how to help siblings get along really had some good tips, so I jotted them down. Here's the advice from the article - followed by how I probably handled it in real life.

What to Say When Siblings Fight:

1. The Advice:
Tell the kids: "I can't wait to hear how you solve this. Go into this room and don't come out until you agree on a solution."

The reality: Girls scream in the downstairs toy room for more than 5 minutes and the little one comes up crying and tattling with the big one on her heels yelling angrily.

2. The Advice:
Tell the kids: "Since you're not having fun, here - come help me fold this laundry."

The reality: Big one rolls her eyes and skulks away. Little one asks: "How much will you PAY me?"

3. The Advice:
Tell the kids: "You can either stop fighting of pay me to listen. $.25 a scream."

The reality: Big one says: "You still owe me six bucks!" and storms off in a huff. The little one sticks around to tearfully attempt to tattle on her older sister.

4. The Advice:
Tell the kids: "Looks like that toy needs a timeout - it made you fight. We'll get it out again later."

The reality: Typically, they aren't fighting over toys anymore these days. I can take away the computer - that works. When it's clothes they're fighting over I usually err on the side of whoever fits it best. So, when the big sister complains that little sister is wearing her shirt I usually say: "Well, look it fits her - so it can't fit you properly." Soon it'll be me fighting with the oldest that she's wearing MY shirts. Sigh.

5. The Advice:
Tell the kids: "You guys should be proud. You played together 20 whole minutes before you started arguing. Let's celebrate with a snack."

The reality: Low blood sugar is often a culprit around our house. This one actually works - I send them in to pick out a snack and then pray they don't both want the last one of the same thing.

I could get used to this

2008-06-24T00:39:00.000-07:00

The breakfasts at the hotel are amazing. Anything you could ever want from any place in the world. Pastries, Rolls, sweets and fruits abound. Quiche? Why yes, three kinds. Salad like in Japan? Why yes - and next to that is the European style cheeses & meats and would you like some muesli or homemade granola?
Indian or Malaysian traditional breakfast - even breakfast steaks for the Texans here, right next to the German sausages.

Breakfast is included with our room, and lunch is provided with the conference. It's wonderful, too. In fact, every meal I've had since arriving has been lovely. I kind of expected we'd eat well..and because I am a very simple creature and love nothing more than eating and sleeping... I have not been disappointed a bit. (The hotel beds are also wonderful and I only wish I could sleep even more...)

Working in my room with the iTunes playing on the laptop or NHK on the TV for some background noise is also lovely. I'm getting a lot done today because I don't present until the next two days. And then, it's over and I leave. Back to being cramped for 30 hours of travel in cattle economy class and no more lovely meals.

But, I think that's probably a good thing because by Thursday I'm sure I'll have gone up a pant size.

Day One in KL

2008-06-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

I'm glad Barbara forced me to get out and site see a bit.

We went to the National Mosque. They provided us with robes to make sure our heads and ankles were covered.

Then we went to China Town and the Central Market.

I thought the kids would like seeing this stray kitty that found a chicken leg to snack on in China Town.

And I really liked this graffiti.

Latest Pictures

2008-05-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

The dog rescue named him Jordan. Since he answers to it we decided not to confuse him by changing it. So, here's Jordan Anderson, our newest family pet.

He's a big friendly lug - a Boxador. (Labrador Retriever/Boxer Mix)
Callie is starting to really like him. The rest of us would like him even better if he didn't pee in the lower level.

Also, today we got Emma's spring school pictures. Can't believe how grown up she looks!

They're just so gosh-darn cute!!

2008-05-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sure every mother feels this way - but aren't they so cute?

My new diet plan: Life

2008-05-14T06:30:00.001-07:00

Last night when Miley died unexpectedly, Jeff and I didn't feel much like eating dinner. This morning when I sat at my computer with my bagel and coffee drink I read an email from a friend from church who's infant daughter (who I know from caring for in the nursery, she's a cutie!) fell from a 2nd floor of an apartment onto concrete 14 feet below and was airflighted to the hospital for a skull fracture.
I couldn't eat my bagel. (Baby S will be okay. She's been released from the hospital now and just has to recover completely.)

The older I get, the more connections to others I make over time, the more I experience heartache. I know, I know - this is the human condition. That's just life.
But my heart breaks. My heart breaks for my dear friend who's adult children are rejecting her. I shake my head sadly when a congregant of my friend/co-worker's was part of a police stand-off in New Mexico and shot himself. (Even if he was crazy, he was someone's father.) It may be PMS, but I can't look at pictures of Chengdu or the schools that collapsed in Dujiangyan without crying.
I know how passionately Chinese parents love their child. Notice I say: child. To lose that child, that one hope for your future, that one little person you love and adore and have doted on and sent off to school in hopes of a bright future - devastating.
We had friends from Beijing over for dinner about a year ago. My coworker Leo was just weeks away from marrying Fiona. Fiona was a lovely girl and she loved playing with our kids, especially our youngest who was about 2, nearly 3 at the time.
He snuggled in her lap and talked to her - she was one of those naturally nurturing and loving people that you could just imagine would be a wonderful mother some day. Fiona wept. She seemed happy, but tears ran down her face.
When I asked Leo why Fiona was upset he tried to explain that she was simply emotional at the site of my lovely family. He explained that having a child like my young son was their greatest hope. To have a beautiful family - that one child they could have, their very greatest dream in life. They couldn't hope for two, just one child.
So imagine the grief of these parents. Losing that one very loved child. Losing their lifelong dream. Losing their family.
I can understand their anger at the school collapse site. How could a school, a building filled with the greatest treasures in China, be built so shoddy that it couldn't withstand an earthquake? Some hotels and stores are standing - how can it be that the school isnt'? I can just imagine their frustration. I can't imagine their grief.

Hopefully some glimmer of good news will come my way before lunchtime. Not that it would hurt me to miss a few calories..but for now, I'm not feeling able to eat.

Good bye Miley Dog

2008-05-13T20:35:00.001-07:00

We didn't even have her for a full year. As spazzy and sometimes annoying as she was (she was ALL bird dog ALL the time) at times and as many times as I cursed her for eating tissues out of the bathroom garbage and leaving them all over the house... I find myself surprised at how sad I am and how very much I miss her.

Tonight I had a Girl Scout meeting so I picked up McDonalds for a fast family dinner while Jeff picked up kids. I beat him home by just a few minutes.
Usually the dogs are waiting by the door eager to go outside. Tonight they weren't there. Hmm. That's odd. So, I yelled: "Where are my dogs at?"

Callie came from upstairs and slunk out the door without enthusiasm.
Hmmm. That's odd.

I saw Miley laying in one of her favorite spots just on the edge of the four season porch. Man, she must be really deeply asleep not to come running when I call...
And then it hit me. My voice hit that frantic note it does if I can't find one of the kids in a busy store right away or they aren't where I expect them to be in the yard.

Miley! I called. No response. This can't be. I reached out and touched her face. Shook her a little. Something was definitely very wrong. And then I heard the sounds of Jeff's car in the garage. I ran outside and told Jeff: "Don't let the kids come inside! Please leave them in the car for a minute! You need to come in here!" Jeff expected to find a doggy mess..not a dead dog.

When we got Miley at the pound they told us she was a 4 year old stray. Healthy, but underweight. We've fed her up and loved on her - learned her annoying habits and what she's good at. I was planning to jog with her this summer. I expected she'd outlive Callie and annoy me for many more years to come.

Emma cried and wanted her dog tags. Lucy cried after a bit, too. Michael said: "I wish Miley could be alive still." as we placed the decorated homemade slate headstone over the spot where we buried her in the yard.

Still, they're all already making out a wish list for our next dog. Emma's already searched on the web for dogs. Even though they say they want a new dog, there is a dark cloud over our house tonight. This is not how Tuesday nights are supposed to go - we're all shocked and sad.

To my great surprise, we've lost a dog. And even more surprising to me is how very much I'll miss her despite all her quirks.

Rest in Peace Miley Dog. May you find a doggie heaven filled with pheasants for chasing, angels to scratch behind your floppy ears and unlimited doggie treats.

Scenes from a very good weekend

2008-04-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

They crack me up. Everyday.

2008-04-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

Em's skills at sarcasm are starting to rival her father's. She's learning how to cope with frenemies at school and is into email, talking on the phone and picking out special outfits (esp. from certain stores - she's suddenly VERY brand conscious).

Luce just had her first sleepover birthday party. The girls went for "Princess Manicures and Pedicures". As we arrived at the nail salon some girls were there getting ready for prom (our high school's prom was the same night as Lucy's b-day party). The little princesses in our party asked: "What's prom?" Then they all ooh-ed and aahed over the teenagers' pretty hair up-dos and fancy nails. One high school girl showed the girls her hairstyle (like a princess! Those curls!) and explained it takes all day to get ready for prom. The girls all turned to me and said: "When do we get to go to prom?" I told them: "Just about 10 years from today, ok?"

Michael is learning that if he gives a really smooth explanation that he can get his way sometimes.
He talked me into his eating a chocolate Easter candy one morning this past week because he explained it had "all medicine in it" that would make his sore throat all better.
It was so earnestly delivered and cute (and I figured no harm could come from a tiny piece of chocolate first thing in the morning, esp. for him because he's lost so much weight lately) I let him have the candy.

I've taken to jotting down the really funny things they say - because the kids crack me up so often. The other night Jeff and I were tucking Emma into bed and he was going to (playfully) hit her with a pillow. I made a good show of trying to wrestle it from his hands - and ended up with a 2 inch cut on my finger that I somehow managed to cause with my own thumbnail. When I showed Emma she said: "Sheesh Carolyn - you aren't to be trusted with soft objects!"

Last Friday morning Jeff called me and Mr. Man had this to say to him:
"Daddy. I very disappointed in you and I be angry with you because you don't stay home with me and I sick." When Jeff called me and we laughed about this, Michael, in the back seat of the car began to get REALLY mad and corrected Jeff:
"Daddy! I already angry at you."

The other night Michael came up to me dragging a quilt and said: "Mommy, how 'bout we play I patching." I said: "Patching?" ...instantly my mind went to thinking about quilting..but I could tell that wasn't what he wanted. I finally figured it out: he wanted to play he was a HATCHING baby bird. So, I wrapped him up in the quilt and he "hatched" and peep-peeped like a baby bird. He thinks its so funny when I say: "OK, the mommy bird will feed you chewed up worms now!" and make fake barfing noises - that cracks him up and he giggles for a long time.

The best was last week when I was giving the kids a bath and had the TV on in our bedroom. I was flopped on the bed watching the Miss USA pageant while rotating kids in and out of our tub. Lucy walked in to take her bath, took one look at the Miss USA swimsuit portion of the pageant on TV and said: "Ewwww. Gross!"

Yellow Curry = Trip Down Memory Lane

2008-04-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today at lunch I had a flash of realization - a reminder of how truly fortunate I am that my life has taken the path that it has.

Years ago on a business trip in Singapore I walked with coworkers to a little indoor market area where they went for lunch each day. It was a lot like the Dayton's ground floor level food area (aka Marshall Fields, aka Macy's) - lots of competing vendor stalls selling a variety of lunch items to be purchased a la carte.
I remember thinking, with not just a little bit of jealousy, that they got to have a delicious lunch for relatively cheap right near their office each day. Oh to have that variety...Oh to have those yummy Asian dishes right there. Like every trip I take anywhere, I envisioned what life would be like if I could move to Singapore.

Flash forward nearly a decade to today. I walked down the hall attached to my office tower (in the lovely temperature controlled skyway) and decided between Thai noodles, a freshly made yellow curry with veggies and chicken, Falafel or a fresh tossed green salad. I'd already decided not to walk to the Japanese bento place I've been frequenting lately.

And then it hit me as I ate my wonderful curry... it tasted like that lunch in Singapore. It was the lunch special, so it was relatively (relative to downtown prices) cheap. And I realized again how very, very fortunate I am and how, in many senses, every wish I've ever had - even the fleeting ones for a yummy workday lunch - feels as if it's come true.

I miss the days, not so long ago, that she didn't care what she wore...

2008-04-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm an evil stepmonster because I wouldn't let our resident 5th grade Fashionista wear shorts to school today for picture day. My arguments:
a) it is only 30 degrees outside
b) there are 8 inches of fresh snow on the ground
and
c) that no one can actually see the shorts in the school picture (shoulders & up is all you get)
...were ignored because clearly I'm just trying to ruin her life.

What really rankles is that she took the shorts over to her mom's house and I have no control over whether her mother lets her wear them despite my telling her she can't.

Whee ...the teenage years are going to be interesting.

Is it March already?

2008-03-05T16:42:00.001-08:00

It's been eventful lately. This is why my Dad's birthday cards are still sitting on the kitchen counter and his birthday was Feb. 23rd. (Sorry Dad).

The road trip to Ohio was good - but it got a bit scary on the way back through Wisconsin.

Emma has been in another two plays. She's been accepted at an Arts Magnet Middle School and has been asked to go to a Gifted and Talented kid summer school program. It's like a whole new world (Gifted and Talented summer camp world) has been opened up for us.

Recent things that cracked me up:

1. Emma's comment that: "All the boys sound like girls" when talking about her 5th grade's presentation of Broadway show tunes. Too true. I leaned over to Jeff when 4 boys were singing a mobster song and said: "It's the Sopranos!"

2. Michael was sitting on my lap and during the "Sorprano's" song he covered his ears with both hands and said: "Mommy, they hurtin' my ears!!"

3. At work we all went in on a PowerBall ticket. The organizer sent a scanned PDF copy of our tickets and an Excel spreadsheet with percentage calculations of each of our share of the $173 Million.

I emailed Jeff and said: "This (the Excel sheet) is what happens when geeks play the PowerBall." Jeff is seeking a support group for geeks.

Lastly, if I -DO- win the PowerBall..this is my current wish list:

1. Kindle

2. M3 Adapter for my NDS
3. New front steps for our house...because suddenly ours are crumbling. Bummer.
Maybe something like these: http://www.concretenetwork.com/concrete/walkways/design-ideas/wood.html

I can't believe it's March...but I also can't believe we're running out of time to get signed up for Summer camps and other summer plans. March isn't coming in like a Lion, it's more like a Cheetah.

Another reason to hate the dog

2008-02-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

The trip back from Ohio, well, at least from Rockford, IL onwards, I was pretty sure I had strep throat. As soon as we rolled into town, dropped the oldest at her play practice and got to our house I made plans to go to Urgent Care. After a nearly 2 hour wait at Urgent Care the quick-strep test came back positive, just like I expected.

Since I didn't get my first horse pill in me until 10pm Monday night I figured I'd be contagious (not to mention still in pain with every swallow) and had better plan on taking a sick day on Tuesday. I was sort of looking forward to a day of napping, wallowing in my bed and watching some brain-rotting daytime TV.

Shortly after a bath and a change into my sick-day duds (an old pair of sweatpants) I noticed my least favorite pet (Miley the dog) had decided to take a gigantic dump on our front walkway. Lovely.
So, I grabbed a plastic bag and went out the front door with a pair of my loafers slipped on my bare feet (and of course, no coat) ...only to see Miley nudge the front door shut in her excitement. And I'd only unlocked the deadbolt..so the bottom lock was still locked...and I was now locked out at 10:30am in below zero weather with no cell phone, no keys, no socks, no coat and a plastic baggy of dog poo.

Luckily my neighbor to the East of our property was home. So I trotted over to her house (a 3 minute brisk run in my loafers) and from her house I eventually tracked Jeff down at work. He knew the combination to the hidden key outside our house - so after one more cold walk and fumbling with the lockbox a bit, I was back inside safe and warm...and back to enjoying my sick day.

Kids say the darndest things

2008-02-04T10:41:00.000-08:00

3 is a pretty fun age. Mr. Man says some pretty funny things.
Don't get me wrong, the other two are funny, too..but they are funny in a sassy, more sophisticated way now that they're school aged and hence, masters of sarcasm, comedic timing and the knock-knock joke.
Mr. Man just surprises me with how much he understands at such a young age.

Last night as I was tucking him into bed we had the following conversation:

Me: Good night sweetie. Sleep good.
Mr. Man: I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.
Me: I know. It's hard to go back after being with mommy and daddy all weekend - but you'll have fun. Maybe you can play in the snow with your friends! It's going to snow!
Mr. Man: No. I gonna have hiccups* and be puking so I can stay home tomorrow.

It seems awfully advanced to me that at 3 years old he already knows that if he could feign sickness he could avoid going to school and spend the day home with mommy or daddy. I'm sure I didn't figure that out until like..5th grade?!

(*the last time he had a stomach bug he thought hiccups caused him to throw up. Now he seems to associate hiccups with being pukey.)

This morning he was protesting having to go to school and kept telling me: "But, mommy, I have a cough!" (we've all had a mild case of the sniffles, but he didn't cough once this morning and he is in fact quite well).

Once we got to school and I was trying to get him settled in his classroom he wanted more cuddles. His wonderful teachers were helping to distract him (best to re-focus him on playing so that he wouldn't notice me slipping off to work). His teacher offered to cuddle him and he said: "no". She offered him some breakfast and he said: "No, I not hungry." So, they said he could go choose a center (aka: find some toys to play with). He seemed to consider that for a moment. So, she said: "Ok, go wash your hands and you can decide what center..." to which he protested right away:
"But I don't got any germs on them!"

He's got an answer for everything.

La vita è bella

2007-12-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

This year there were no "big" presents per se.
Well, Emma got a Nintendo DS that we and her mother went in on "half-sies" to make it more affordable...but other than that, the kids got smallish toys, books and clothes - and were HAPPY for them.
No one was sick for Christmas.
The food was perfect and plentiful.
It was a GORGEOUS white Christmas.
We've been sledding and ice skating and no one has any broken bones or injuries.

I cannot help but feel this uneventful, beautiful and wonderful Christmas is nearly miraculous. Life is so beautiful - and we are so very fortunate.

Christmas means ....

2007-12-18T12:42:00.000-08:00

...baking cookies, getting Christmas cards assembled and sent out, finding Christmas outfits for the kids, the annual Gingerbread House making party, at least one potluck at work, at least one kid singing at a school program, spending lunch hours shopping.

Worrying about who I've forgotten, trying hard to figure out gifts for the teachers and day care providers who I adore and am eternally grateful for - but can't seem to figure out a gift for to save my life.

Watching for boxes to be delivered so I can hide them before the kids see them. Finding a place in the house to hide the unwrapped presents. Looking FORWARD to the mail for once - because it comes with Christmas cards filled with photos and news from friends and family we don't see often enough.

More Christmas baking.

Getting a ham for Christmas day dinner. Running out to Target to search for a Santa Hat and antler ears because: "Mom I need 'em for school!" Running out of Christmas cards, running out of stamps. Another run to Target. Briefly contemplating just handing over my entire paycheck to Target all at once to save the effort of doing it bit by bit... it's all going there anyways.

Waking up in a cold sweat at 2am remembering I haven't given my friends at work a Christmas card and that I must get a gift for my wonderful boss.
Late nights sorting through presents trying to "even up" each child's gift pile.
More Christmas baking.

Mailing out presents to out-of-town family & friends a wee bit too late (sorry - try as I might I'm late EVERY year).

Sprinkling "Reindeer food" outside on Christmas Eve, then wrapping presents after the children are in bed until I nearly pass out from exhaustion. Carefully biting large "Santa bites" in the cookies and leaving partly eaten carrots outside (the flying reindeers eat only SOME of the carrots).

Early Christmas morning negotiations that the kids hold off ripping open all their presents until after we've groggily brushed teeth and found a glass of caffeine.

None of this is a complaint, honest.
It may be a hectic month filled with tons to do...but it's all magical and filled with joy.

I know Christmas is meant to be about Christ's birth. And every year we go to church Christmas Eve and I love the celebration of what is meant to be the REAL meaning of Christmas. But while the kids are young.. Christmas for me is much more about making a memorable time of year for them.

But he's so INSISTENT

2007-12-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

I love the look on his face here. Such an expressive little boy.

And so INSISTENT. I don't know where he gets it from. (ha)

Last night in the kitchen as I was dashing out to try and do more Christmas shopping Mr. Man (who is very attached to mommy lately) told me not to go.

Me: I have to go - I'm going to go buy Christmas presents.
Mr. Man: I go with you!
Me: No, you need to stay and have a bath with Daddy because maybe I will buy a present for you, too.
Mr. Man: And THEN I CAN OPEN IT!
Me: No, you can't open it until Christmas.
Mr. Man: But is IS Christmas.
Me: No, not yet.
Mr. Man: Uh huh! It IS Christmas.

Me: (pulling down the family calendar, showing him today's date, pointing ahead 7 shopping days to Christmas) No...this is today..and then HERE is Christmas when you can open your presents.

Mr. Man: No! It IS Christmas mommy!

Me & Hubby exchange a glance..and then we both say: "Well, it is Christmas SEASON, but not Christmas DAY"

Mr. Man: It IS Christmas!! (red faced, foot stomping)

Mr. Man is ADAMANT and I can see I'm not going to win this one. Then I strike upon something to say:

Me: You can't open your present until I've had time to wrap it. I'm going to go buy it, but it might take me a while to wrap it.
Mr. Man: OH. OK. Bye!

Clearly it just takes the right explanation. We just wish we knew what the right answer was more often.

You might be a redneck

2007-11-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

If your husband emails you at work with pictures of varmints he done shot to shut the daggone dog up.... you might be a redneck.

If your ve-hick-el takes more than 2 credit card swipes to fill the gas tank... you might be a redneck.

Just because an atheist author wrote it, doesn't make it "evil"

2007-11-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I received another email message with the title: "ALERT - Golden Compass". This is the 2nd or 3rd such email I’ve gotten warning me about this “evil” movie the “Golden Compass”.

I guess it’s wimpy of me (or perhaps I'm just not feeling confrontational) that I’m not doing a "reply all" via email and saying that I’ve read all three books and loved them and am looking forward to the day that our kids will be old enough to read them, too. In fact I’m really looking forward to the Dec. 7th release - and I fully expect we will go see this movie.

Here's the rub for me - the people who are emailing this haven't read these books. I have. They're blindly fowarding an email because it's the "Christian" thing to do. These are award-winning* children’s books and the inherent message is that religiosity used as political power can be a very dangerous force. Am I the only one who sees the irony that people are blindly forwarding an email from a church organization campaign without having read or researched for themselves about these books?

Granted Pullman (Philip Pullman, the author) has publicly dissed the Chronicles of Narnia (considered to be Christian-friendly fiction), granted he chose character names (“dæmons” and “angels” and “God”) provocatively – but on reading the books, I don’t see how any atheistic viewpoint or analogy wins out at all.

In fact religious leaders in England (where the books are far more popular) have publicly announced their support of the "His Dark Materials" series and on the basis that the books amount to an attack on dogmatism and the use of religion to oppress, not on Christianity itself.

In my humble opinion the books are highly imaginative, entertaining and thought provoking. They raise several interesting questions about what makes a person a person, what it is to find our path into adulthood, what it is to have a soul, and why we should be cautious not to let the human leadership of the "church" have undue political power over our lives. (And how we should perhaps instead rely on a moral compass (in the book the analogy is the alethiometer - which in my interpretation could be the Bible, faith, our private conversation with God) to be our guide.)

To me, the essence of my faith is that I have a personal relationship with God. I'm not following some rules set down by another human being because they supposedly speak for God. I'm prayerfullly considering what God would have me do - not letting the "religious right" or some other church leader decide for me.

I believe God gave me a brain and free will for a reason.
I believe God wants me to question, reason and discern for myself.
I believe that the still quiet voice I hear is the guidance I need.
I beleive that after years of education in hermeneutics, biblical theory, catechism and history of the Christian church not to mention ample study of the scriptures that I don't need to be spoon-fed rules and regulations for my faith walk.
I'm not down with being told what I can and cannot read. I'm not cool with being told something I found spiritually invigorating and entertaining is "evil".

Again, I find it absolutely ironic and a bit sad that people I know, and otherwise like (friends and acquaintances via Girl Scouting, etc.) are forwarding a message because someone started a chain email saying this movie is “anti-God”.
And by the way, one possible author of that chain email is actually the well-funded and organized campaign by the Catholic League.

This alone makes me think the lesson the book shares about not letting the church have undue political power over our lives is vitally important.

The day your church starts telling you what you can and cannot read, or what you should or should not allow your children to know about, perhaps it's time to educate yourself on what is that is just so bad that people want to spend time and money telling you to avoid it.

*Pullman's books have one the Carnegie Medal, the Guardian Children's Book Award, and (for The Amber Spyglass) the Whitbread Book of the Year Award - the first time in the history of that prize that it was given to a children's book. Moreover, this summer Philip Pullman's The Golden Compass, called Northern Lights in the British edition, was named the best children's book of the past 70 years. A public vote, by readers from North America, Europe, Asia and Australia, selected the book from a list of past winners of the Carnegie Medal for children's literature.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T19:11:00.001-07:00

Business Travel Made Tolerable

2007-10-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

Pardon the preachy tone, but I wrote this sermon sitting in an airport terminal last week observing a few too many that could have used a nice dose of common sense.

1. Pack a snack. Everything else you can find in either the airport or the airplane will be overpriced and unsatisfying compared to your favorite treat. (Mine = Pucca. Japanese chocolate filled pretzels. Yum.)
Also, BYO drink. You can carry on any liquids purchased after passing thru security. Caribou iced tea + Pucca = 2 hours of sipping and snacking contentedly.

2. Wear shoes easy to slip on and off. They still make you walk barefoot thru security these days.

3. Leave time to relax. Give yourself an hour to get checked in and thru security. Don't cut it close to your flight time or you're inviting stress. Also, have ideas for how you'll spend your time while waiting. Whether that's work on your laptop or read a new magazine. Come prepared for the hurry up and wait.

4. Do not hassle ANYONE. Come with the mindset that air travel is public transit. Really, it's just the same as riding your local subway or mass transit bus. Other passengers may very well be annoying, smelly and/or abusive. Strive to be quiet and undemanding. Avoiding eye contact isn't a bad idea, either. (Again, like on the bus. ) Being undemanding not only will this make the airline employees grateful for (or simply not annoyed with) you, but it may endear you to your fellow travelers.

5. Do not expect anything. Do not expect a drink, a bag of peanuts, an on-time flight, an upgraded seat or even a seat without someone jabbing you in the back all the flight. If you come at the flight time with low expectations, everything you encounter that isn't negative will seem like a treat.

6. Check your big luggage, pack light for your carry on. Nothing is more annoying than some creep who thinks they're too important to wait at baggage claim who drags on a huge suitcase and attempts to cram it into an overhead it won't fit in.

7. If you haven't been upgraded by the time you or the airlines printed your boarding pass, it's really not likely to happen. Harranguing the gate attendant does not help your case. Also, trying to sneak onto the plane for early boarding when you aren't some elite status or sitting in 1st class to attempt to get on the flight ahead of everyone else to get a spot for your luggage - not cool.
And if you're not sitting in 1st class or the forward cabin do not attempt to leave your luggage in the overhead bins there thinking it'll help you make a "quick exit" having your suitcase at the front of the plane. Dude, no one is making a "quick exit" unless the plane is on fire.

8. Don't rush to get on the plane. Especially if you're in cattle class - really, there is NO rush. When they call "All Rows" and people line up - it's not a bad idea to wait for the crowds to thin out a bit. The boarding process goes on for quite a while, so no rush. Stretch your legs a bit for those last 10 minutes or so. Then walk on, claim your seat and relax - without ever having to stand in line.

9. Most people do not want a chatty Cathy sitting next to them. Pay attention to body language. If, after exchanging pleasantries or observations on the weather your seat mate(s) keep re-focusing quickly on their book, laptop or magazine they are sending you clear: "I prefer silence, thanks" signals. Take heed. Most people just want to quietly relax while on their flight, not discuss current events or your health issues.

10. Don't crowd the revolving belts in baggage return. No one knows which bags are coming out first, and if you block the way for others they can't get their bags. Everyone should just STAND BACK a few feet and wait and watch. That goes double for those who feel they are ENTITLED to their luggage faster than everyone else because they were seated in First Class. Folks, baggage handlers have a sick sense of humor. They just throw whatever comes their way up onto the belt. If your specially tagged piece o' luggage doesn't come out first - tough hop. Welcome to the human race, you're no more entitled than anyone else.

It's been a while since Mama's been on a business trip

2007-10-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

The kids are not used to mommy traveling - it's been very infrequent over the past year. I called on my first night away from home this week and was being missed - esp. by our youngest.

Mr Man: Mommy. Come to our house. Come here.
Me: Honey, I'm in Texas. I'll be home in a few days. I'll bring you a little motorcycle, ok?
MM: No, come to here. I neeeeed you.

After that he dissolved into tears. It was hard to listen to - nothing much I can do to comfort him from so far away... but also it was not as gut-wrenchingly painful as I remember from trips when he was younger. Also, I knew it was also because he was overtired. (It was near his bedtime when I called.)

However, today hubby told me the conversation they'd had this morning.

Mr. Man: Daddy, you go to Texas and mommy come back here.

Jeff explained to him that it wasn't like we could trade places - but Mr. Man was adamant. Daddy should go to Texas in my stead and I should come home. That cracks me up - he's a smart little monkey trying to come up with a deal like that.

Maybe it's true what they say about mama's boys and daddy's girls -- because I think that Mr Man misses mommy the most.

Thank You Holly

2007-09-25T11:27:00.001-07:00

If it were not for Holly's mad picture taking skills our kids' childhood would be rushing past almost entirely undocumented. Check out Michael's freckles. Too cute!

Beautiful Pictures from Holly

2007-09-25T11:25:00.001-07:00

Life is Beautiful / Life is What You Make It

2007-09-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday I made a trip to my favorite Asian grocery in Minneapolis. Only my youngest, Mr. Man, was interested in joining me for a shopping outing.
We had a good trip, he loved his treat: Peach Calpis (which, I have to say, is really an unfortunate brand name. Sure, カルピス is fine in Japanese, but in America, it sounds to my ear ever so close to "cow piss", y'know?).

In any case, recently Mr. Man has been in love with the Shimajiro Potty training - because he's just recently switched to being a "pa-pa-pantsu man!" himself.. And especially while we were at the Asian grocery and he was hearing different languages - for whatever reason he got very interested in Japanese for a change. (Side note: I am not raising bilingual children. They are uninterested, for the most part, in learning Japanese. Believe me I've tried.) At first, though I was REALLY confused.

Mr Man: "Mama, mama. Talk 'sheen to me."
Me: Machine? huh?
MM: Yeah. Talk a-ma-sheen to me.
Me: Like Motors? Bruum Bruum?
MM: (Getting upset) NO!! Ma-sheen!! You know..like using the potty...
Me: Machine?? Like computer?
MM: Yeah.. like on the computer! SHAKA!! SHAKA ganuzu!!!
Me: Huh?
MM: SHAKA GA NUNU!
Me: Oh, wait! You mean: Talk Japanese to you?
MM: (Relieved that his idiot mother is finally making sense) YES!
Me: Oh, like Shimajiro: お仲がむずむずする? Onaka ga muzu muzu suru?
MM: YAH! SHAKA!!!!Shaka ga nu nu.
Me: uh huh. よく出来たね。Yoku dekita!
MM: Shaka! Shaka!
Me: (laughing) Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!
----
He didn't get my Chaka Khan reference at all, of course.

After this interlude of talking Japanese / 80s music to each other (and Michael likes it, to a point, then tells me to "talk like his mommy" instead) we stopped for lunch. There's a Culvers near us that has a group of folks (The Culvers Jammers) that meets and plays Blue Grass each Saturday afternoon. It's wonderful to sit and hear the mandolin, banjo, fiddles and bass (and some assorted zither players..but maybe that's called the auto-harp?). It feels like a sweet little slice of small-town America and the walleye sandwich isn't bad either. Michael swings his legs on his too-big-for-him chair and picks at his cheeseburger, I sigh as they fall into the chorus. And then it hits me: I truly have the best of all possible worlds.

I have the city - because I work downtown and we can basically have our pick of any kind of fine dining or cultural outing we desire. (And the Twin Cities does seem to be a hot-bed for theatre and has a lively music scene..)

I have the country - because we live on 2.5 acres where it isn't unusual to see people ride by on their horses or hear the occasional whine of a dirt bike or ATV...or hear nothing but the wind in the trees. And at the neighborhood "National Night Out" talk was more on coyote sightings and keeping deer out of our gardens then on break-ins or vandalism. We can grow flowers and plants, burn stuff in our fire pit.. and the kids ride around on the John Deere tractor and in the '73 Chevy pickup and call themselves "Country Girls" without a trace of irony. (Well, not Mr. Man. He just rides his bike around and around making dirt bike noises and announces that he's riding his motor bike.)

I still have tinges of my Japanese life. We take our shoes off and store them in the genkan. (Even if the kids don't know what a genkan is..) My rice cooker is used plenty frequently and we eat 焼肉 complete with real 焼き肉のたれ at least once or twice a week. We have a deep tub and family style お風呂 complete with Japanese bath salts. (Note to those who don't know about Japanese ofuro: In a Japanese bath an extra-deep tub is filled to the top with very hot water in which you sit submerged up to the neck. Most people spend about half an hour in the bath every night. Most children take their baths with their father or mother until they are in the upper grades of elementary school. The family tub is an important place for parent-child communication.) My kids know a smattering of Japanese words and want to eat with chopsticks. They like rice. And Miyazaki movies such as: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi (千と千尋の神隠し).

And, I still have the comfort of all that is familiar, too. My favorite tea, incense and all the books I could hope to read. Clothes that fit, and that are cheap, too!

Everything that was a bit difficult about life in Japan is something that is easier here in the States. I don't stick out like a sore thumb, I blend in. I'm free to mix and match from cultures and holidays and beliefs and perspectives - and my kids are all the richer for the diversity. And, when I want my kids to have an experience like I did as a child (riding bikes on their own around the neighborhood, Sunday School, Christmas Caroling, Girl Scouts) - we've ended up being fortunate there, too.

For all the angst and worry I had when I was younger trying to figure out where to make a life - what I forgot is that life would be what I (we) make it. (Sheesh. Now I'm quoting Talk Talk : "Life's What you Make it.") It's amazing that it's ended up being exactly what I would have wanted. Little by little, bit by bit. As if I'd drawn up a wish list and one by one every wish has been granted. Even ones that might not have occurred to me in all my infinite wisdom in my 20s. And still. Life has turned out so much better than I could have planned on my own.

I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again

2007-09-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

I didn't manage to take any photos of it to remember - in fact, I've been pretty lousy about taking pictures lately. Poor Mr. Man is growing up so fast and his childhood is largely undocumented in pictures of any kind. However, if in the future they invent a time machine and I need a specific date to go back to: I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

The weather was stunningly beautiful. The deepest blue cloudless sky with cool nights and warm enough days. Our kids were all mostly happy, healthy and wanted us around to play with them. They had friends over for playdates and sleep overs this weekend. I baked cookies, washed windows, and hung out our freshly washed bed linens in the crisp sunny fall air in between dispensing hugs, meals and snacks whenever the kids wanted them. Hubby spent the weekend mainly outdoors - and mainly on projects around the house including a new swingset and three new swings hanging from two trees in the backyard. The kids love them.

Nothing too exciting happened but that's what makes it so perfect. Just lots of time at home to hang out with our kids and their friends. I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

I know that when our kids are older and I have tons of free time to read, quilt or keep a perfectly clean house I'll miss these days of having a full house and toys strewn all over. I know that when my youngest stops needing me to tuck him in for a nap or first thing when he wakes up to reassure him, I'll miss those sleepy hugs. I know that later this fall or winter when we're all laid low with a cold or flu or some bleak weekend in February or March when we're trapped inside staring at the cold, gray, blah weather - I just know how I'll miss these perfect early fall days.

Last night as I tucked Michael into bed he was trying to stall a bit. He grabbed my hand in the dark and said: "Mommy? About today. Today I had a very great fun day." And I knew it was true. And I said: "That's right. You got to play on your new swingset, swing on the new swings, played with those big girls, (he broke in here and said: "I played with them with my noisy dump truck!"), watched 'Michael, Michael Motorcycle', rode on the lawn tractor with daddy, went for a bike ride in the bike trailer and rode your "dirt bike" (his bicycle, that he makes dirt bike sounds for when he rides it)." And he sighed contentedly and rolled over cozy in his bed.

I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

To my children who I love beyond measure, from your mommy at work.

2007-09-12T10:12:00.002-07:00

I wrote this yesterday, Sept 11th, feeling nostalgic and missing my children at work apparently.

Dear Mr. Man,

You crack me up no end. You are such a funny, smart, beautiful little boy. I love it when you look at me with your earnest eyes and say: "I have pee in my body."
We are SO proud of your new found independence in using the potty and dressing and undressing yourself.
Yes, I know you want a dirt bike. Little boy, light of my life, I am very tempted to buy you one because I love the look on your face when you work the throttle and see dirt flying up in the air behind you. Your love of rockets and dirt bikes is giving me a clue to the kind of boy you're going to be. It's not going to be dull!
I love it when you take your little hands and put them on my face to turn my face towards you when you want my full attention. It is an amazing time right now when you tell me sometimes still that you are a "tiny baby" and then, more and more you tell me and show me you are a "big boy" everyday. I'm so glad you still want to be held and carried and snuggled.
I am so sorry this morning that you only wanted me to hold you and stay home all day with you. I hope my holding you and rocking you in my arms helped ease your tears. I saw your brave face when I left you with your pre-school teacher and I hope that today is fun for you, even if it's spent with your friends and teacher and not mommy and daddy. Thank you for the big kiss this morning, I miss you terribly and wish I was home with you all day, too.

Dear Lucy Goose,

You are such a sensitive, silly, beautiful girl - thank you for making me laugh. I'm so sorry I rushed you this morning and I know I must seem crabby to you when all I'm trying to do is get us scooted out the door. Hard as it may be to believe - I think of you and miss you all day, even if it seems like I'm just crabby and rushing and busy when I get you up in the morning.
I really tried my best to tie your Chucks as tight as you like, I'm sorry if it didn't meet your high standards of tight. I know Daddy does it better - he wishes he was here, too. Please understand that I spent extra time making you breakfast this morning, and that's why I couldn't keep re-tying your shoes three more times - we were already running late.
Can I tell you how amazed I am that you love Depeche Mode? What good taste you are developing in music! When you listed off your favorite bands (AJ & Aly, Hannah Montanna, Depeche Mode and Jonas Brothers) I was awed that at 6 (6!) you have such definite (and good) tastes in music.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry your ankles hurt. Yes, I'm sure part of it is from running so much in gym class, and maybe some growing pains, too...but, it may also be my fault. See, I have bad ankles, too. You can blame Grandpa Bob for this one if you like. (I got my ankles from him.) Please don't be too sad about your ankles. It's nothing Advil can't fix, and as you get older you'll realize it's really not such a big deal in the big scheme of things. I know that's hard to understand now, because any hurt is a big hurt.
I love you, be brave. You'll make friends at your new school - you'll see. Just keep being Lucy. Hang in there - you can watch Harry Potter and eat Starbursts when you get home, and then it'll all feel better. Just think: each day you're getting closer to being able to read all on your own - and just you wait, that will make you SO happy when you can sit with a Harry Potter or Phillip Pullman book and read and read to your heart's content.

Dear Emma-roo,

I know now that you're getting so grown up that it's too embarassing to have me say "I love you" in front of your friends or to hug on you at school, so I hold back when they are around. But you should know no matter what I always love you SO much.
Thank you for the BIG hugs last night. I may joke or play (and you do, too) but I felt your "I love you" in those hugs, and I hope you know how much I adore you when I peck you on your cute short hair and hug you tight.
Lucy and I are both missing you (yes, even Lucy. She wanted you to come home with us last night) - but your mom has been missing you terribly, too - so be good to her. I know you wanted to come to our house last night, but it's your mom's turn to love on you, so be sure to be good and don't keep pestering her to come over - I know you know why, if you think about it.
Did you know that Melissa, the little girl who came to visit the weekend before last, hasn't taken off the necklace you gave her in days? Em, you have the most giving, kind and generous heart of any person I know. You made her very happy - and you make us very proud.
I know school is getting a little harder this year - but I'm glad your teacher is so nice. Even so, as you get closer to middle school don't be surprised if life gets a little more complicated with each passing month. I'm sure you've noticed by now that life gets kind of funky when you get closer to being a teen. Pimples, bras, friends that don't act very friendly... nothing you can't handle, though. You'll do well - you've got some amazing advantages.
Girl, you are SO smart. And SO loved. Whenever you need a break, some help or just a shoulder to cry on we'll always be there to catch you, hug you, hold you and comfort you. You're surrounded by people who adore you. You can do whatever you want to do - and I can tell you're going to do it in fine sassy style (You are such a stylish girl now! I am SO impressed with your taste in shoes and clothes!) and surrounded by friends, because you are gifted at making friends.

Michael, Michael Motorcyle!

2007-09-06T09:08:00.001-07:00

Observations / Lessons Learned from the end of summer

2007-09-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

1. Doggie day care for 2 two dogs costs more than all-day care for my 3 children. What is wrong with this picture?

2. Given enough time, most people will really come through with the money they owe you. I prefer not to say anything about the money - I just wait without saying anything. So far, this is working for me. (I just got paid, yesterday, for Girl Scout cookies that were delivered in February of this year.)
*The possible exception to this rule are places of business (e.g. paid off car loans, mortgage escrow account checks) - because they will take their own sweet time returning money you've overpaid them to you.

3. As for me, I really need to drive a stick shift. It appears to be something in my genetic makeup because my Dad strongly prefers manual transmissions, too.

4. You can't fight genetics - but through ample amounts of counseling you can try to make your character flaws less obnoxious to others.

5. There are two things that I find unforgivably tacky :
a. Not sending a Thank You note or acknowledgement of receipt of a Wedding gift.
b. A guest that bring a gift of wine to a dinner party - opens said wine, has some and then takes it home with them.

All other manners and rules appear to be made to be broken, in my humble opinion..but the 2 above are pet peeves.

6. I love books by Phillip Pullman. And here I was worried that I'd having nothing to read after Harry Potter.. The "His Dark Materials" triology is even better! (Though it feels like blasphemy for me to say that out loud because I loved the HP series so much.)

Hubby on business trip = Invitation to Disaster

2007-08-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Very early on in our marriage, maybe even before we got married, Jeff taught me this important corollary to Murphy's Law -
The first rule of the business traveler:
"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong while I am away"

I accepted this way back when thinking: OK. Sure, the furnace may go out. The roof might leak. I am woman, hear me roar - I can cope.

But now, coming up on nearly 7 years of marriage, I see the painful truth of how bad things truly do seem to happen most often when Jeff is not home with me.

Here's a short list..
Sept 11 tragedy: Jeff is on a work trip in Chicago.

Miscarriage of our 2nd pregnancy: Jeff is on a business trip with his German boss, can't get home for days.

I am broad-sided by a guy who ran a red light which totals our car while I am 22 weeks pregnant with Michael: Jeff is in Germany.

And now.. when Jeff's new job means that he ever so rarely has out-of-town trips..he had a sudden trip to Austin, MN. And and the 35W bridge collapses.

Granted, I am not personally affected by this major catastrophe (besides the bad traffic I fully expect to experience on my commutes to and from downtown for the foreseeable future) - but we also sprang a sudden leak in a roof vent that dripped rain water into one of the rooms of the house while Jeff was in Austin. Of course, in comparison to the non-stop local news coverage of the tradgedy in downtown, the leak felt like nothing to worry about.

How we know he's been listening...

2007-07-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

I was wandering around the house just after bath time last night saying: "Where's Evan?" When I muttered this within ear shot of Mr. Man he looked up with me with a big smile and said: "He ran away with a spoon!"

That's his daddy's boy.

Where did the summer go?

2007-07-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

I knew July would be busy. It had everything I was looking forward to: the newest Harry Potter movie, the final Harry Potter book, my birthday, Mr. Man's birthday, the 4th of July, our annual trip to Race4theCure in the Brainerd Lakes area, the closing on our old house (SOLD!).. but seriously, what happened here? How can it be nearly August? Shoot - Target has had back-to-sale displays up for weeks now. On Monday I saw the school buses learning their new school-year routes around the neighborhood. It's sad but true.. summer is more than half-over.

We have a new truck with a snow plow attachment on it. I figure it's the next logical step in our adaptation to rural life at Rancho Anderson.
We got the huntin' dog, the air rifle (for the voles and groundhogs wrecking our yard with their tunneling), now we have a classy '73 Chevy rusting gently on our cement slab parking spot.
I'll resist the urge to use it as a lawn ornament propped on cement blocks when the time comes..though wouldn't it look nice next to our faded out wooden well cover with a circle of lawn gnomes around it? NOT.

Anyhow, for now the truck is the new favorite toy for the boys at our house. Who wants to ride the John Deere lawn tractor when there's a NOISY TRUCK to go 4-wheelin' in?

To my great surprise, we have a new dog

2007-07-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

My dog Callie pre-dates my wonderful husband. When we married we were both package deals. I fell in love with, and pledged to help raise his beautiful daughter who pre-dated me (she was about 18 months old).
I told him I couldn't relocate to Minnesota without my puppy, Callie, just about exactly the same age as his daughter.
Callie, like my stepdaughter, is quickly approaching the age of 10 this August. She's a wonderful, mostly mellow, meek and loving dog. If anything, she's a bit neurotic and when she feels abandoned or when a stranger approaches the door while we're not home, she's liable to make a mess on the carpet out of fear. (Or, at least this is my theory.)

Hubby, after years of comments about how little he cares for dogs (especially shedding dogs, and dogs that drag mud and dirt into the house on their paws) was at his wits' end when we moved to our new house and Callie had a few accidents.

I chalked this up to her needing to adjust to the new house. Hubby, not so much.

He knows I'd never give her up - so he looked for alternatives. Would I consider letting my parents take her back to Ohio? While that might not be bad for Callie (would she even miss me if she was being doted on by my mother or stepmother? Both are wonderful dog lovers and would walk her, feed her treats and love her dearly)...I didn't think I could bear it. She's the one constant in my life for nearly a decade. She rode with me faithfully every weekend to Chicago. She moved to Minnesota with me. She hunkered down with me through two torndaos. She slept on the foot of my bed, not leaving my side each time I was stuck in bed sick. She's been my faithful, wonderful dog - I couldn't send her away.

So, to my great surprise, today hubby decided to get ANOTHER dog. His theory was that Callie would adjust better somehow with an additional dog to keep her company.
He suggested a visit to the Humane Society at brunch, and by 2pm we were the owners of a Pointer from points unknown.

The jury is still out on this - but for now, we've welcomed a new member to the family: Miley.

Welcome Miley. We plan to feed you up (poor Miley is terribly underweight. She was a stray before the Humane Society found her) and take good care of you. Please let us love on you and take you for walks, OK? Also, the cat is NOT for eating.

I think I'd like to take up tennis next...

2007-06-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a pattern.

I introduced my dad to the Macintosh computer and in a short period of time our relationship changed from my being his ad-hoc tech support and his asking me what to do to fix problems on his iMac to him knowing WAAAAY more about how to burn music, edit movies and all other facets of the Mac than I could ever hope to know.

I showed my friend Holly my new love of quilting (I can't say I introduced her to quilting because, shoot, she grew up sewing and doing needlework with her Grandmother) - and quickly she outpaced me in ability, quality of her handiwork and she's prolific. She's produced what must be dozens of truly beautiful quilts in the past few years. She amazes me.

I showed my friend Shelli my blog, and she quickly knew more about blogging than me! Her posts exceeded mine not only in frequency but in quantity and quality. She has made oodles of blogosphere friends, has cool thingies on her blog, her own domain name and slick widgets that boggle my mind each time I visit her blog...while meanwhile I stick to freebie Blogger and my rambling thoughts and mundane observations.

All I can surmise from this is this new motto for myself:

"Stepping stone for many, expert to none."

Truly, I say this with no bitterness at all. While I consider myself to be a bit of an early adopter I realize I'm spread too thin with too little time to get serious about most of the non-work geeky things I find interesting.

So, while I may be able to occasionally show people new things, they quickly grow past my introductory level of knowledge to do amazing things. I'm really very OK with that - because I'm happy to keep puttering along at the pace I'm at. Dabbling, but not being nearly as proficient or prolific.

Maybe someday when my kids are older I'll get more serious about one of my many interests. Until then, I'm happy to watch my friends and loved ones do amazing things, and to sit back and watch.

Official Start of Summer = Life is Good

2007-06-25T13:58:00.001-07:00

別府へ手紙

2007-06-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

Hi E,

30 earthquakes? And earthquakes centered in Beppu? That’s wild!
Are people worrying that Aso-san is waking up? (Maybe you already know this – but I was told it’s a dormant volcano.) Glad to hear they seem to have stopped for now. I don’t recall hardly any earthquakes during my time in Beppu – are people there surprised at all the activity I wonder?
I have to admit, earthquakes terrify me. They’re my number one fear, seriously. Tornadoes, Typhoons – don’t even phase me a bit. Earthquakes freak me out. I’ve been through quite a few – a couple of big ones in Okinawa, the big Kobe earthquake, and some measurable ones in Tokyo.. and rather than decreasing my fear, over time I’ve just become more & more scared of them.

It’s impressive you’ve picked up conversational Japanese (reading katakana and hiragana already) in just a year – that’s really great! I think it really helps being in the “inaka” (countryside). Beppu does kind of force one to learn Japanese just to get by – to handle the post office, grocery store and the bank and the ATMs.
I can still remember when I’d been given the bad advice to bring a cashier’s check to Japan. I came with a little cash, but the bulk of my savings (what I planned to live on until my first paycheck) in a cashier’s check. Oita Ginko had never seen one before – so they sent it first to a larger bank in Tokyo, and then that bank sent it BACK to the US and requested the US bank wire the funds. It took something like 6 weeks or more – and I was really frightened I’d never see the money again. (And it was all the money I had in the world at that point!) I’d go in, periodically to the bank and inquire whether the money was on the way and attempt to explain over and over that the check should be considered as cash.

At the time, I had enough Japanese to say: “Where is the money now?” And I sketched out a picture of Japan, and the US. The poor teller I’d asked pointed to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I remember bursting into tears (around week 5) and saying: “It can’t be in the Ocean! It can’t be in the Ocean!” (Umi? Sore ga muri desu! Umi ga dame desu!) I’m sure I scarred that poor teller with my outburst and she never wanted to wait on a gaijin again!

I know just what you meant about your comment about how it's hard to get past the "surface" there. It is really hard to get past that “tatemae” layer with Japanese.
The cliché stuff about it being a homogenous society is really all too true. There are nationalists (minority) and others in Japan that really prize that homogeniety. That and the traditionalists that still hold stock (in varying degrees) in old class system in Japan (e.g. Eta, the untouchables) and it carries over to gaijin, too. The hierarchical nature of Japanese society makes for a rather exclusionary reality. It’s not something people are very forthcoming about, either – it’s rather subtle. Just like how talking about racism in America is taboo often, too. So on the surface there’s much talk about international this and that – and “gaikokujin” – but it does in fact stop at the surface much of the time.
Also, not unlike the US – these notions are stronger in the countryside than in the big cities. You’re right it would be a very different experience in Tokyo – where it’s a veritable United Nations compared to Oita and non-Japanese are so much more a part of everyday life that they’re barely noticed.

And I’m sure you’ve noticed that certain foreigners are more welcome than others, too. Or, perhaps that’s changing now? Japan seems to me to have become more progressive in this area in just the last 15 years. In fact, when I first came to Japan back in 1987 they still had signs above restaurants in Tokyo saying that Okinawan’s weren’t allowed to enter. Just like pre-Civil Rights era for black Americans!
Now shima-uta /“Island style” is all the rage – but it’s not that far back that Okinawans were discriminated against. (And most Japanese don’t consider Okinawans to be truly Japanese. Most mainland Japanese would say Okinawans are a different race due to their Ryuuku island heritage. Well, that and decades of US occupation - not to mention the still heavy US influence due to all the military bases.)

I had a friend who was born and raised in Beppu – but her last name was “Kaneyama”. Sounds Japanese, right? But her family name gave away the fact that she was third generation Korean. Although she spoke no Korean, and looked and sounded Japanese for all intents and purposes.. she was excluded from some schools, many better jobs and had diminished dating prospects – all because she wasn’t Japanese enough.

Given some more time, I’m sure you’d end up with a bunch of Japanese friends. But honestly, I think it takes a certain kind of Japanese person to be open to make friends with someone a bit different from them. Considering how hard that “group think” mentality is pounded into them (esp. in Jr. High) it takes a special type of person willing to step out of their comfort zone.

I ended up dating a few Japanese men during my time in Beppu – and through their circle of friends, and a few close Japanese female friends I made, I ended up getting a lot of lessons in Japanese culture. My Japanese friends used to remark: “Carolyn, you’re more Japanese than Japanese!” – because I made such a strong effort to follow etiquette, made my own plum wine, learned all the seasonal greetings and customs. I really tried hard to be a good student of the culture. Still, I ended up leaving Beppu when it was evident that I’d never ever really fit in.

There are a few foreigners in town that have married locals and had kids – stayed forever after in the area. I made friends with a couple (one runs his own juku, another used to teach yoga classes – though I don’t know if she still does) and while they’d blended in – they still had the same experiences I did with getting stared at in the public baths, etc.

I left when it was clear that if I did marry my boyfriend at the time and stay in Beppu – I’d have to resign myself to being a sort of second class citizen forever after. No matter how well I could read, write and speak Japanese .. I’d never be able to vote, I’d never be able to completely blend in (and I have dark hair, but still) – I’d always be a little bit different. Some people would be overly nice to me because of it, and ever so often, some people would hate me on sight because of it (I ran into “sabetsu” on just a few occasions) – and there’d be little I could do about that.
It’d be different if it were Tokyo, for sure. But, Kyushu is still Kyushu.

But I digress.

-----

This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote this week to a new acquaintance living in the town I lived in over a decade ago. So little has changed there, in some ways. It's funny, but when I look back on how I almost chose to stay and make a life there, I simultaneously miss it there so very much and am very nostalgic for the place, people and time - but I also know very clearly that the life I've ended up having is a far better one in so many ways than the one I might have settled for had I stayed there.

Also something that puzzles me is this - why do I so deeply identify with a country that is not my homeland? Why do I still pine for a place that, logically, I see did not and would not ever embrace me?

But then - I'm also pondering deep questions like: "Which is better, liquid or cream based hair dyes?" today. Ha!

Nothing says 'home' like a Garden Gnome of your own...

2007-06-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Initially I protested hubby's purchase of this...lawn ornament.
But, like the garden...he's growing on me.

Monday's Child

2007-06-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

My absolutely beautiful newest nephew is truly fair of face.
Congratulations Marty & Kristin! Welcome baby Braeden!

Thurday's Child

2007-05-31T08:29:00.000-07:00

Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe;
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving;
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day
is fair and wise, good and gay

It's not just because I'm Thursday's child that I love Thursdays so much.
They feel like Christmas Eve. It's almost the weekend. It's Farmer's Market day.
For whatever reason I'm most inspired to write on Thursdays. (Not so good for work productivity, mind you..)

An interesting observation: in my nuclear family 3 of the 5 of us (me, oldest daughter, youngest son) were born on Thursdays.

Our middle daughter, born on Tuesday, has a middle name of "Grace" - and while I was pregnant with her we called her Grace. Turns out she's full of grace by her birth date anyways.

Moved

2007-05-24T09:44:00.001-07:00

4 season and deck
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Still unpacking, but starting to enjoy our new home very much. The old house is listed on the MLS now and our fingers are crossed for a quick sale.

One of the best things about our move was the help and humor my friend Sharyl's husband Mark provided. He cracked me up constantly with his funny comments - so when I look back on our move, I think of all the laughter, not so much all the lifting and carrying.

Here's an example of Mark's sense of humor:

We've just pulled up to the new house, it's lunch time on Saturday. I'm telling everyone to come on in the new house for Subway sandwiches and cold beers and Mark has just wandered through the empty new house checking it out.
I'm standing on the front porch and he comes over to give me hearty congratulations. After a hug and lots of raves over what a great place Jeff and I have found he asks me in a more serious tone of voice: "Do you mind if I Bless the house?"

To put this in context, I should explain Mark and Sharyl are good practicing Catholics. And, every home I've ever lived in I've walked through and prayed over - to bless the house (back in the day my mother and grandmother would anoint the doorways with olive oil as they prayed, too).

So I said to Mark: "Oh, that's great, thanks - want to walk through and pray over the house together?"

He said: "Nah, I meant that I gotta take a crap, OK? Maybe I should have said Christen the house instead?"

I laughed so hard I almost blessed my pants.

Observations:

2007-05-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

1. All my life I've struggled to grow my nails out. When I'm slightly nervous or mildly stressed my nails are flimsy and chip or break easily. They annoy me and I can't help myself - I nibble on my nails and end up having to clip them off.
Apparently when I'm under a greater level of stress for an extended period of time I grow nice long lovely nails. Who knew?! I've wasted oodles of money on Sally Hansen and vitamins and gelatin when all I really needed to do was be overly busy and about to move! My lovely long nails are sure to be ripped right off when we move furniture and boxes 10 days from today - but I think I'll take pictures of my hands on May 17th just for posterity.

2. It is FAR too easy to call up the local energy company and start up or stop service. They didn't ask any personal questions. Not my SS#, current account number, nothin'. They didn't need to know anything but a street address.
Why mess around with TP-ing someone's trees when you could just have their power shut off with one 30 second phone call? I'm just saying. Not that I'm evil enough to do this to somebody, just noticing it's a leetle bit too easy as it is currently.

3. We've packed well over a dozen boxes. Maybe even 2 dozen. And the house is just now starting to feel.. just right. Not over-cluttered, but also totally livable. We have the essentials (enough pans, tupperware, plates and dishes, clothes and linens) to live comfortably ...and this leads me to think: Why don't we dump every last one of those boxes at the Goodwill or stick it in a crate to Tanzania? Obviously, it's excess if I can live without that stuff. (Though, those boxes contain about almost all the kids' toys. That would be too cruel...)

4. It is a sad sign of this day and age that I couldn't help but worry.. and in fact thought very hard about calling the non-emergency police phone number when I saw a rental truck (think: U-Haul) parked, without a driver, in the no-parking area in front on the office tower I work in downtown. Maybe I'm just a worry-wart - but my mind just goes "Oklahoma City" right away.

Another reason to love the month of July

2007-05-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

OK – I know I am a big ol’ dork, but I have pre-ordered my Harry Potter Book 7 for home delivery ON the day of release from Amazon. Immediately, first chance to do so. I've talked a lot to hubby about how I will be unavailable come July 21st - he can just expect he's on his own that weekend with the kids.. and WOW, isn't it great I won't have to take vacation days because I'm pretty sure I can finish the book in under 48 hours of consecutive reading that weekend...

When we made an offer on the new house he and I both talked about WHERE I would read my new Harry Potter book this summer. Seriously, I'm not even kidding.

That, and I’ve already planned to go see the latest Harry Potter movie immediately after it’s released on July 13th (after all that’s my birthday – I’ve already told hubby all I want for my birthday this year (35!) is to go see the movie).

Besides - I've always loved the month of July. It's my birthday month, it's the time of year we typically go to the Brainerd Lakes area for Race for the Cure and our annual family vacation in Pine River near my SIL's cabin. It's when Mr. Man was born - so we have our biggest party of the year (family and friends and a Bouncy Castle!) in July.. Plus there's Independence Day, fireworks, bbqs, some of the best weather of the year -- what's not to love, right?

But now I’ve read that Crowded House is releasing the first album in 10 years on July 2nd.

I didn't know it was possible, but I am now EVEN MORE EXCITED for July. I am now LITERALLY counting the days to July because it seems ALL GOOD THINGS are going to be in July. I know I'm a dork - but this year, at least from the looks of things I'm jotting on my calendar in advance, it sure looks like July is really just like a month 'o joy for me.

Oh July. I'm more excited than a kid waiting for Christmas. Only 57 days and counting. Woo hoo!

Holy Cow - we bought a new house!

2007-04-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

After over 2 years of working with a realtor, we finally made an offer that was accepted (we've made a few other offers)- and our tentative closing date is May 18th. I'm almost afraid writing it in the calendar (or this blog) will jinx it.. but it really seems like it's going to happen this time.

Woo hoo!!!

Muffin Top, n. (mu-ff 'in top)

2007-04-05T14:30:00.001-07:00

Muffin Top, n. (mu-ff 'in top)
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

It's probably just me - but it is cracking me up that hubby found this cereal at the store. And the kids love it!

2007-04-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Mama is pissed off by the New York Times again.

2007-03-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

Here's the sort of news story that pisses me off.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/26/us/26center.html?ex=1332648000&en=f291ce3ee416425f&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

The BIG headline reads: "Poor Behavior Is Linked to Time in Day Care"
But then, even a cursory look at the facts (within the very article the headline is referring to) shows that the headline is false for the most part.

"The effect was slight, and well within the normal range for healthy children, the researchers found. And as expected, parents’ guidance and their genes had by far the strongest influence on how children behaved. "

...and then further disproved by this statement: "On the positive side, they also found that time spent in high-quality day care centers was correlated with higher vocabulary scores through elementary school."

So, let me get this straight. It's a slight effect. If you're a good parent - teaching your child to be respectful, to listen and obey authority figures such as their school teachers and your genetics are such that you are or were a compliant child and your child is also compliant (as opposed to defiant or oppositional) - day care or not, your child will likely not be disruptive in school.

But that's not what the headline says. Nor does the headline read: "High Quality Day Care Correlated with Higher Vocabulary Scores; Poorly parented kids with genetic behavioral disorders may be disruptive in school" ... which is probably far closer to the truth.

The headline is intended to play on the very guilt and fear most working parents already have. The: "Am I doing the right thing?" or "Should we move where it's less expensive, so we can have just one income... but then, the schools aren't as good?" Because folks, it's usually a trade off. It's not like all these mothers and fathers are working just for the fun of it. Usually they HAVE to work in order to provide for their children. That's just how it goes these days.

Moreover, what really burns me up is this sort of speculation in the article:

"The authors and other experts argue that preschool peer groups probably influence children in different ways from one-on-one attention. In large groups of youngsters, disruption can be as contagious as silliness, studies have found, while children can be calmed by just the sight of their own mother. "

Note the word: MOTHER. And by the way, just the sight of me does NOT calm my children. What a load of crap. Even my most withering glance sometimes just gets an eye roll from my kids. It's the frightening tone of my voice and the fact that I'm counting: "One....Two.... Three..." and they know when I get to three that they're going to get a negative consequence to their misbehavior that would end that silliness or disruption.

But seriously, the article mentions mothers more than once. No mention of fathers, because apparently it's not their fault if their children are in daycare. It's those mothers. The ones who think they can "have it all" by working AND having children. How dare we? Shouldn't we know that by attempting to work outside the home we'll be shortchanging the future of America? Creating more aggressive children? Granted, potentially those children will have greater school-readiness and better vocabulary scores if they've been in a good pre-school day care - but still, we're hurting these children with our selfish desire to work outside of the home.

Chuh!

Here's my thought: I pay a ton for good day care. I feel blessed every day that we can pay for good day care - and think that ALL working parents should be able to afford it. Ah... but it's supply and demand, isn't it? So, what's the solution?

Highly paid (highly government subsidized), highly trained excellent day care for all, free of cost to all parents who can prove outside employment. This ought to be a government provided benefit. The child to care giver ratio should be 1 : 2 for children under 12 months, 1: 3 until 33 months, and 1:5 from 33 months thru age 5.

We should hire retirees/grandparents who want to hold children and just read to them, we should hire young mothers who are attending college at night, we should hire teenagers for after school jobs who want to play on a playground with a group of rambunctious toddlers... we should hire anyone who loves chidren and is willing to submit themselves to extensive training and a deep background check to prove they aren't a pervert.

I hope to God that some day instead of jobs at McDonalds my teens will be able to get after-school jobs at a "Toddler Center" or nursery school.

Other countries (Japan, Netherlands, China, Singapore, Belgium, France) do this - why are we so far behind in this area? If we truly have reached the point in time when we need every adult man and woman working productively in order to sustain our national economy then we seriously need to be re-thinking child care and child care subsidies.

Moreover, I never want to hear a repeat of this 1950s "Leave it to Beaver"-esque crap again. Mothers work outside the home people and have done so in increasing numbers for nearly a century now, get over it. In 2007 half the workforce is female. Half or more of that female workforce is probably a caregiver to a child or elderly adult. Times have changed and it's almost never an option for a family to get by on a single income. Stop funding studies to prove the "damage" to children and start looking for creative solutions.

Too Stoopid

2007-03-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

Michael's newest expression: Too stoopid.

We went for a walk Tuesday night because it was in the mid-sixties. Still, there was a bit of melting snow on the edges of the walking path (40+ inches takes a while to melt away even in record warm weather for March)..so daddy pushed his tricycle along the snow - thinking Mr. M would think it was fun.

Mr Man yells: "No daddy! No daddy! No snow! Too stoopid!!"

Later the same night I'm changing his diaper before bed and say: "It's time for bed now. Are you going to climb into Michael's bed?" He answers: "No, it's too stoopid. I sleep in Mommy's bed."

We're not sure where he picked this new line up - but it makes us laugh a couple times a day lately.

Beware the Ides of March

2007-03-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

This morning at the bagel shop I go to daily as I walk up I overhear two very odd conversations.

Employee 1: ..just don't get wearing green if you aren't Irish.
Employee 2:...so wear something that represents where you grew up.
Employee 1: (who is Asian in appearance) ...
Employee 2: (not realizing she's offended) Where DID you grow up?
Employee 1: Andover*
Employee 2: Oh. Well then. (Flustered. Realizes her assumption of Laos or Vietnam was no good.)

(*for those of you who don't know, that's a northern suburb of Minneapolis)

Second conversation is between a homeless, very hippie (as in, child of the 60s, flowing gray beard) looking man I frequently see playing a battered clarinet in the skyway and the manager of the bagel shop who's standing at his cash register.

Manager: ..yeah you'll have to talk to the owner about that.
Hippie dude: I'll go talk to the MAN. Yeah. Yeah. And then...when I find the MAN I'll find the woman who's got him by the balls. Ain't that right!
Manager: ..um, ha ha.. (unsure how to respond)
Hippie dude: (walking away) ...cause that's how it is. Behind the MAN is always the woman who's got 'im by the balls.

Manager rings up the customer in front of me. I step forward to pay, but the homeless guy is back again.

Hippie dude: Hey, look, before I go talk to the MAN - tell me, would it bother you if I played here? 'Cause I'm not gonna bother even go to the MAN if it would bother you.
Manager: Yeah, it would bother me. It's too small here - we don't have space for you to play.
Hippie dude: So - how about I get you a tape?
Manager: No, that's OK.
Hippie dude: .. cause I could get you a tape.
Manager points at the ceiling where Kelly Clarkson's music is blaring out of a speaker.
Manager: No, really, we're all set.
Hippie dude: My stuff is better than this crap (pointing to the speakers)

Meanwhile, I'm just patiently waiting holding my money out towards the manager at the register while he tries to get the hippie dude to move along again.

Manager: (getting frustrated) Look, I'm trying to work here.
H.D.: Yeah, I know you're trying to work..
Manager: (speaking to me) What do you have today?
Me: Bagel and cream cheese, please (I hand him money)
H.D.: You know Mike, you don't got to be that way.
Manager: (sighs) You need to go now. (then turns and hands me my change as the hippie walks off).
Me: I'll bet today is one of those days you wish you didn't have to wear a name tag, huh?
Manager: (Laughs and smiles) Yeah!

I step back and wait for my bagel and homeless hippie guy walks up next to me.

H.D.: You know, that guy there - he should worry you. He worries me and he should worry you.
Me: Him? He's a good guy. I buy bagels from him everyday - he's a good guy.
H.D.: No - no - he oughta worry you! (looking a bit frantic about getting his message across)
Me: Oh? Really. OK.

Meanwhile all the bagel shop employees are watching this guy talking to me and trying to figure out how to intervene and get him to leave their customers alone. It was interesting to see the looks pass across their faces, some of them shaking their heads.

It didn't worry me - because like I said, I've seen this guy before - probably even tossed him some change before and he's one of the homeless guys that don't scare me. He plays his music and wishes you well and shouts out vaguely poetic things.

The big group of really drunk homeless guys that hang out closer to my parking garage in the skyway.. well, they kind of scare me. They're all much bigger than me - almost all younger men, often falling down drunk, fighting with each other and occasionally throwing up. Even at 7am in the morning, which is really mysterious to me. Like how could you be THAT messed up so close to the time that the shelter turns you out for the day? This morning there was a group of them blocking both doors between the Hilton Skyway and the International Center skyway. I actually saw two other women turn back rather than attempt to go through the doors. I did a quick head count, it was a group of 6 guys standing on one side and 5 on the other. I took the side where there were fewer guys standing and followed in the wake of another person trying to cross through their group. No problem at all.

Oh the ides of March - I hope today passes without further incident.

For lack of news, I share an old Okinawa story.

2007-03-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

Because there isn't anything much to blog about that's happened recently (no funny stories from the Girl Scout Cookie sales) - I've decided to pull a favorite old story out of mothballs for your entertainment.

A true story.

This story takes place near Ginowan, Okinawa. I attended a year of high school and lived in Kakazu, Ginowan for a while circa 1987-1988. I was living with my aunt and uncle and their three very young children. (Even younger than my own children are now.)

This story pre-dates my arrival in Okinawa just a bit, and the birth of the third of my aunt & uncles children. Their oldest daughter, my cousin R, and their son (then a baby) and Aunt and Uncle were on a family outing one weekend to go to Okinawa Expo. It's the old site of an Expo from 1975 that has a great aquarium and some other attractions. It's in the north part of the island, near Nago, on the Motobu peninsula. They took a ferry - I think there is some ferry service also runs from Motobu Port to Ie-jima from Naha port. (Naha is to the south, considerably closer to Ginowan.)
So, the family gets on the sunny ferry and little cousin R, then about age 2, is thirsty. At one of the ever-present (in Japan) vending machines they got the most "child friendly" canned drink they could find - an Orange-y type soda for her. She'd had her sweet orange drink and was sitting on the ferry...feeling very queasy.
Let me pause here to explain something unique about Japanese culture. It is completely socially acceptable, nay, almost encouraged, for folks to sleep or close their eyes and PRETEND to sleep so as not to have to make eye contact, when crammed into public transport (subways, busses, ferries) in Japan. The connotation is that you're so hard working that you're SO tired. Moreover, when crammed into a train near a Gaijin (foreigner) who might - OH NO!- attempt to greet you in English it's always best to avoid eye contact. I tell ya folks, I was like walking valium in the subways of Tokyo. To avoid the chance I might ask them a question like: "Can I change trains to get on the Hanzomon line at Ginza?" (No way I'd ask in English anyhow, but still.. I can imagine their fear of being approached in a language they don't know) - people would promptly put newspapers up in front of their face, or more often instantly appear asleep. Even if it's rush hour and we're crammed in like sardines.. even if folks are standing up in a packed train they would close their eyes and feign sleep. (Now that's a talent! Not only able to sleep standing up, but whilst holding oneself upright and balanced in a jostling train!)

So, back to our story of little cousin R. With her parents on a ferry together with her baby brother. The family is sitting next to a busy Japanese "salaryman" who has, at the outset of the ferry, opened his briefcase to do some work - but then, on finding himself sitting by Gaijin promptly dropped off to sleep. Poor R is feeling more and more seasick and as small children are wont to do - promptly throws up. A DIRECT HIT neatly filling the sleeping salaryman's briefcase with neon orange puke just as the ferry is nearing the dock.

My uncle, thinking quick, gives the top of the briefcase a quick kick shut and they quickly relocate to a seat closer to the door - as the boat will be docking soon and they can slip off of the ferry at the head of the crowd and escape.

Pity the poor man who arrived at his next business appointment and opened his briefcase to discover bright orange puke covered documents.

The kicker here folks: They were MISSIONARIES.

Snow Day!! Woo hoo!

2007-03-05T10:44:00.001-08:00

March 2nd
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

This is our REAL Minnesota girl. She stayed out and played in the snow the longest.

Mr. Man is unimpressed

2007-03-05T10:42:00.001-08:00

March 2nd Mr. Man
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

He'd rather be inside eating marshmallows off the top of his hot cocoa, thankyouverymuch.

Got Snow?

2007-03-05T10:41:00.001-08:00

March 2nd kids
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Check out the porch swing behind L.Lou - this is what over 2 feet of snow looks like in our yard. (This is not a drift. This is actual snow fall.)

What, you don't grill in blizzard conditions?

2007-03-02T08:26:00.001-08:00

Snow_grill
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Maybe I've acclimated to my new home State a little too fully now.. but I didn't see why my husband should have any trouble grilling last night.

20 mph gusts of snowy wind? Check.
Blizzard "white out" conditions? Check.
Businesses and schools closed? Check.

None of the above struck me as reasons why we wouldn't grill out our steaks. We cleared a path for the grill, put the meat on - let it grill while we waited warm and toasty inside the house keeping an eye on the grill.. no big deal.

Parents Visit

2007-02-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

I can tell I must have been a bit stressed out during my parents visit in these ways:

1. My right eye involuntarily twitched the whole weekend they were here. Went away this morning as they boarded their flight.

2. I drove the girls to a birthday party on Sunday afternoon and then voluntarily shoveled out the garage (the muck that melts from the car leaves a mess -- hubby is forever asking me to clear it out from my parking spot) rather than re-enter the house (where everyone was) right away.

3. My mother-in-law, over for dinner with my parents on Sunday evening, more than once, asked me in a kind, but concerned tone of voice: "C, are you OK?" Of course, first she had to get my attention because I was deeply spaced-out looking at something on the kitchen counter. Perhaps...staring at a non-existant spot I was wiping up for far too long on the kitchen counter.

The visit went very well overall - I can't complain. But I also have to admit I feel relieved to be at work today and getting back to our usual routine with the kids. And my eye isn't twitching anymore.

15 weeks and counting...

2007-02-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

There was a headline on the NYTimes page and it read: "Mom's Mad, and She's Organized". The teaser of a title worked on me, so I clicked on it - but it was really just some tidbits on the MomsRising.org movement. While this movement does seem like something I could get behind - and in fact, I'm even tempted to host a screening party for the Film they offer on their site -- I can see me hosting that with desserts and coffee more than I can see me hosting another Simply Tasteful or "make-your-own-handbag (for $160)" parties... I'm starting to feel all volunteered out. So, instead of: "Mom's Mad and She's Organized" an article I'd like to read would be titled: "Mom's Stretched to Her Limit - and somewhat Organized".

I lead middle daughter's Girl Scout troop, I'm cookie mom for older daughter, and preparing her troop's winter camp presentation. Both are managable time committments - but only because my company has limited travel lately and my husband has changed to a local sales territory. If a big Asian client lead comes along - my organized little world would be deeply impacted. It's as if I'm on borrowed time..putting some volunteer hours "in the bank" while I can.

In addition there is this very worthy cause I've been assisting with at our church - an African Mission in Tanzania. I'm not sure how much time this will take just yet, but so far it's taking a little less time than Daisy Scouts.

I'm a big proponent of volunteerism. In fact, I volunteered a lot in High School and won some award for most hours candy-striping or some such thing. (And if I had a dollar for each time as a naive 14 year old I entered some male patient's room to deliver balloons or flowers and they asked me if I'd seen the movie about Candy Stripers -- which I later discovered was a porno classic - I could've paid for my college education in dollar bills.)

I think giving your time can sometimes be even better than just a plain ol' cash donation. Certainly I think it's setting a good example for our kids. Lucy has helped at "Feed My Starving Children" a couple of times, and the girls WANT to help out when I volunteer in the nursery. If this African Mission trip results in a family trip to Africa some day to meet the people who have so much spiritual strength, but so little materially - I think that will also be a fantastic lesson for my kids.

What motivates me to volunteer? If you'd asked me in High School I'd say it was because I didn't have a social life and I liked the chocolate pudding in the cafeteria at the hospital that I could eat for free after each volunteer shift. Besides, my Dad worked at that hospital, so I felt like my being there would somehow get back to him - if I did a good job. (Attention seeking, wanting to be needed? Yes. Not exactly altruistic. But - not all bad for a 13, 14, 15 year old kid.)

But why now? I stick to things I'm "good at". I'm good at entertaining 5 and 6 year olds with simple crafts and can help organize and create newsletters. I've always been the one creating the newsletters - ever since I was the only one with her own PC in college (that fact ought to freak my kids out when they're older -- mommy went to school back in the day where almost no one HAD a computer), and could figure out PageMaker (by Aldus, version 1.0) on her Apple Macintosh.

I'm good at tracking details - names, dates and phone numbers. I'm dependable - and eager to help. That's 99% of what people seem to need, so it fits the bill. I'm good at delegating. I'll say things like: "I'm happy to do the newsletter but I don't like to deal with the finances. How do you feel about keeping the checkbook for the organization?"

Most of all - I think I like that I'm more than "just a mom" or just a corporate worker bee. I think I must enjoy having these multiple hats. And honestly, it's a bit of a stretch for me. It takes me hours to screw up the nerve to telephone people. And when I come home and there's a message on the answering machine with a question that requires I call back and talk to someone, honestly, it fills me with some dread, even if the answer is easy. It's NEVER easy for me to talk to people I don't know all that well.

On the plus side - I've been able to meet wonderful people and have surrounded myself with people I really like thanks to volunteering. I really truly like my fellow Scout Co-Leaders - I adore the girls in the troop, and I've had nothing but nice experiences with the parents from both troops I've assisted with. I'm making 2 more nice friends in the Tanzania group - one a woman who leads a group that feeds needy people weekly in our area, the other organizes charitable giving around the holidays for people who would otherwise be forgotten or slip through the cracks. These are wonderful women, inspiring women. It's good company to have.

Still - this week on 5 out of 7 nights I'm committed to something related to either Tanzania or Girl Scouts, and it's starting to get to be a bit much. I'm now officially counting the days to the end of the school year because then Girl Scouts will take a break.

Big Brother-esque?

2007-02-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Ever since I wrote that post about Mr. Man's OCD tendencies the heading on my Google Mail is an advert for a special camp in Ontario:

"Fun, nurturing camp for kids with special needs."

Me thinks the OCD subject line triggers this customized advert. Still, scary.

My Sweet Little OCD Boy

2007-02-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Years after we lived together in college in our off-campus apartments my dearest friend Holly confessed when comparing notes with my husband about how she used to test out my OCD tendencies.
She’d set the can of shaving cream one way in the shower and flip the toilet paper roll so the sheets came from the bottom rather than top-over. Then she’d wait and she how quickly I’d go into the bathroom and set everything back “just so”. I couldn’t help myself. I can’t, even now.
I drive Jeff mad by putting away the car magazines he leaves out in “his” bathroom. I can’t settle into bed at night until the house is picked up to my satisfaction. I can’t (usually) leave the house with the bed unmade. Jeff teases me, gently, about my obsessive need to put things “just so” in the house.
The pillows on the couch go in a particular pattern – zippers facing down. When I find them in any other pattern I set them back – one large, closest to the arm, one small – each side just so.
I’m not “Monk” by any stretch – but it’s there. The obsessive compulsive tendencies I’ve inherited from my father that he says: “All Good Heilmans” have. (What do the BAD Heilmans have I want to know? Healthy mental well-being and good self-esteem?)

Anyways - recently I’ve noticed Mr. Man has most strongly inherited his mom’s OCD tendencies. Of all our kids – he’s the most upset when things aren’t “just so”. We noticed it first when he was just starting to talk and he yelled at Daddy for not zipping his coat the right way!
Then one night this winter when he was going to sleep in our bed he asked for a tissue to wipe his nose and then would NOT lay down or rest until it was in the garbage can in the bathroom. No amount of my assuring him I’d throw it away would calm him – I had to get up right then and throw it away. (Or let him do so).

This morning as we called him down to breakfast from the upstairs he said: “Yay! Breakfast!!” and then paused at the top of the stairs. He saw a wet washcloth that Daddy had left there – probably on it’s way to the laundry and just momentarily waylaid at the top of the steps to the lower level. Without saying a word he picked up the washcloth and put it neatly in the bathroom sink – where wet wash cloths should be, right?

I yelled down to Jeff: “Look what he did!! Oh my sweet little OCD boy!! What a good boy!” Jeff said: “No! Don’t encourage him!!” And I suppose I can see his point..
But I ask you – would ANY mom in her right mind not be thrilled with a 2 year old who has an ingrained sense of need to pick up the house? A natural inclination to tidying?
Heck no! I’m thrilled – and yet again awed by the power of genetics.

Plenty of Inspiration, Little Space or Time

2007-02-09T11:17:00.001-08:00

Train_set_crawl_space
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Thanks to my dear friend, Ang, I have already done some seed shopping. The packets of burpee hybrid cuke seeds and the cutting garden flowers I plan to try this spring/summer are sitting on my kitchen counter winking at me. I also want to plant strawberries, and our usual sunflowers.

The question I am pondering is WHERE will I start these seeds at? Our tiny house is packed to the gills. Probably I'll have to set up grow-lamps in the crawl space and my seeds will serve as scenery for Mr. Man's subterrenean train track.

See that center of the train track? It's just asking for a bunch of sun lamps and seedlings - all the better for the passengers in the caboose to admire, no?

The next question is WHEN will I start these seeds? Luckily, because it takes 6-8 weeks before we can plant the seedlings outside, I won't need to start them before early-April.. because we can't safely plant anything in the tundra outdoors until mid-to-late May.

I figure by April maybe some of my craziness with Girl Scout cookies, the Girl Scout Daisy troop, my sister's baby shower (I'm doing the games), and the African Mission volunteer group I'm involved with should have slowed down a bit, or come to an end. (Cookies and the shower should be done by then.)

So - I stare wistfully at the seed packets. They're a promise of warmer weather, and a dream of a time when when my to-do list might be a bit shorter. Of course, that's sort of like how last September I dreamed this winter would be about sitting in the rocking chair by the fire quilting while it snowed outside.

Here's Friday's poem:

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." - John Lennon:

Quilting by the fire, gardening in the sun, reading in a sunny nook of the kitchen are plans I make and break with myself, over and over.
Perhaps when I am old and gray I will plan to hold my grandchildren close and chase them across the park. And instead find myself sitting in a sunny nook cursing the book on gardening in my hand with the quilt on my lap.

So for now, I'll try hard to cherish the interuptions of: "Mommy! Play!" and the cookies to bake, the clothes to fold the school papers to sign. The never ending heap of laundry to wash, fold and put away.

Man makes plans and God laughs. Mann traoch, Gott läuch.
Maybe I'll start a garden only to sell the house.
Make a quilt only to have it lost in shipping.
Find a sunny nook only to have it grow dark and rain outside.

Life keeps trying to teach me -
Better to enjoy the day for what it is, than plan for what it could be.

Friday Poetry

2007-01-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

I've decided to try something new (attempting to update more frequently)

Friday (Japanese) Poetry!

This one by me:

「好きな時に休らい」
が若い子供のお母さん
へ言えない
でしょう

(No, it's not a Haiku.)

Translation:
suki na toki ni yasurai
ga wakai kodomo no okaasan
he ienai
deshou

[Rest whenever you like] <----(a lyric from a Japanese pop song I like)
is not something you can say
to the mother of a young child,
is it.

Maybe I'll try and keep this Friday poetry thing up.
Or - maybe I'll start scanning in some home-made art (by kids or me).

No worries, I'm not gettin' all artsy-fartsy. Just looking for other things to post besides news of Girl Scout cookies, rants on drivers in Minneapolis and /or the results of my colonoscopy (shudder). 'Cause really - I don't even want to know about those things.

Does this make me a bad mommy?

2007-01-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while I'll hear a song that will actually bring back to mind a scent. Place. Person. Time. So strongly - so completely that it's nearly like time-travel. There's a Pet Shop Boys song that brings back Okinawa, 1987 and the scents of mint and my pink cotton bed spread perfectly.

There's an album Skalatitude by the UK ska band The Trojans that is the essence of summer for me. So strongly does it recall the feeling of summertime in Japan - riding in a Mini Rover with sun on my arms and sand on my feet and not a care in the world. I can practically taste the MOS genmai ice cream shake and smell the suntan lotion.

Occasionally a song I've never heard can ..affect.. me so much that I experience the same sort of thing - even while I have no former associations or memories connected with it.

This past weekend I was driving to church with only my youngest child in the minivan. The radio had been left on the channel I listen to most often on XM. It just happened that it was the weekend "countdown" of week's most popular international tunes.

This is the song that came on:
--------------------------------------------------------
Nelly Furtado/C. Martin "All Good Things (Come to an End)"

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Chorus:
Flames to dustLovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dustLovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

[Chorus]
Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

[Chorus]

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering
if it should stay away for a day
til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
------------------------------------------------
This song could have been written by my 22 year old self. I have old journals filled with this theme: "I want to pull away when the dream dies" - running from everything, never slowing down to feel pain - even if it meant running to the other side of the planet.

Many, many failed relationships flashed before my eyes in a sad parade. I was no longer seeing the street I was driving on - I was a million miles away lost in memories. (Good thing there weren't too many people out on the roads on Sunday morning, eh?!)
I was completely silent lost in my thoughts. (Typically I chat with the kids when they're in the car with me.) It was five minutes of complete time and space travel. The faces of former loves and friends, the tears, the pains I caused and the hurts I felt - all flashed by and felt as real as a smack in the face.

When the song ended it took a few moments to realize where I was and what I was doing. Then, two thoughts arrived at once: "I must get this song on my iPod." and: "Poor Mr. Man! I've just been off in space and haven't said "boo" to him!"

Then I apologized to Mr. Man for zoning out - but no worries, he'd been sort of cat napping on his own. It wasn't until we pulled into the church parking lot and he started crying: "No church! No church!" that I really snapped back into mommy mode. Any sound of distress from my kids snaps me back to present and into full-on-mommy-mode in an instant.

Perhaps years from now I'll hear this song again and all it will call to mind is how fleeting it is that the kids are little - and how foolish I was to wallow in old memories when I could have been savoring a conversation with my littlest child who's just learning to talk. After all:
"But really life is daily / We are what we don't see / Missed everything daydreaming "

At Least I'm Consistent...

2007-01-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing I'm good for - it's funny stories. And embarassing myself.
I'm nothing if not workplace inappropriate. In an effort to try and be witty I usually end up more like class clown and embarass myself frequently. It brings to mind something my father would say, exasperated with me, when I was younger: "Diarrhea of the brain causes run of the mouth."

Sadly, coupled with my inability to think first before opening my mouth is a wicked case of being my own worst critic. So, not only do I say stupid things..but then I kick myself for days over it. (Well, or hours. Really depends on how mortified I am.)

Today a co-worker stopped by for a band-aid because he'd heard I had some in my desk. On seeing his cut I went all maternal -- mommy-mode kicked in and I opened it and started to put it on his hand for him (when I should have just handed it over).... and then it happened I said (in my mommy voice) : "Awwww... want me to kiss your boo boo?"

Pardon me while I go kick myself for a while....

The Highest Praise

2007-01-12T08:06:00.000-08:00

Just an observation.. but, I've discovered the nicest thing you can say to another mom (at least among the mothers I know) my age is: "Wow, you are a really busy lady!" It needs to be said with admiration for their hectic schedule - not a trace of sarcasm. Alternately, you could say (with LOADS of sarcasm) - "Sure, in all your spare time. Ha!"

At a Girl Scout meeting for my older daughter last month another woman who's helping with their spring camp-in event made a brief presentation. She works fulltime downtown like me, teaches an exercise class at the Y and had come directly, sweat soaked, from her class to her daughter's troop meeting to present on options for the event presentation the girls would do.
On chatting with her afterwards (and exchanging email addresses - and realizing we'd worked in adjoining buildings for much of the past 4 years) I said: "Wow, you are really busy. How d'you do it?" It's a rhetorical question - but I tell you, she absolutely smiled as wide as I've ever seen her smile - then quickly recovered with a sheepish shrug. Still, I could tell it was the ultimate compliment to the busy working mom.

Marking His Territory

2007-01-09T16:53:00.001-08:00

Jan8th_kitchen_floor
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

This is our kitchen floor. More specifically -- what you can't see (but it's there!) is a small, almost clear puddle (puddle? piddle?) on our kitchen floor.

Here's the scene. It's after dinner and hubby and I are clearing the table. Middle daughter has run off to play upstairs and Mr. Man, our 2.5 year old, is underfoot. We've just taken him out of his high chair and he's chatting with us in the kitchen as we clear the table and start cleaning up after dinner. (He's just gotten really talkative! It's that really fun stage where each day he can express himself a bit more - he learns new words almost daily.)

I'm at the sink rinsing dishes and then I hear this:

Hubby: "Uh, what are you doing?"
Mr. Man: "Peeing!"
Hubby: hysterical laughter

Mind you - he's still in diapers. But hubby turned around from loading the dishwasher to see Mr. Man shall we say.. assuming the pose. His stance was perfect.

The funny part is the EFFORT he had to go to. I mean - he's wearing a diaper after all. So he had to shove his pants and diaper down a bit .

We guess he's either marking his territory... or telling us he's ready for potty training.

Getting With the Program

2007-01-04T11:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not big on New Years Resolutions. In fact, I'm generally not into New Years in the US at all. I personally prefer to celebrate Ohshogatsu (Japanese New Year).
So to all: "Akemashite Omedetou!" Welcome to the year of the boar. I like to call it the year of the inoshishi (Japanese wild boar) because that's much better than it being the year of the pig (buta) or year of pork. Not nearly as cute as saying: "inoshishi".

New Years in Japan is a flurry of activity at the end of the year - writing and sending Nengajou (New Years Greetings postcards), and cleaning up your house like crazy.. and gathering and cooking up a bunch of food (s'posed to prepare Osechi Ryoori) so that you don't have to do anything for the first few days of the New Year except watch TV, drink and eat.

In our house, we sorta did this. We cleaned up and organized the house a ton. I'm really pleased with the results. And I made a special Japanese meal for New Years Day. It didn't turn out perfectly - but it felt good to give it a try. And it made for nice leftovers for the dreaded first day back at work.

I have to say the closest I've ever come to thinking I might need some anti-depressant medication was on the eve of my return to work after 10+ consecutive days off at home with the kids. It was really hard to get back to the routine. This work week has felt sooooo lonnnnng and it's even a "short" week thanks to having Monday off!

Ne'ertheless - I'm getting back with the program. The lack of snow and warm temperatures sure helps. I don't feel sedentary or like staying in and keeping cozy when it's almost 50 degrees out. It's more like (late) spring around here!
Today I hit the gym for the first time in the new year - and I'm definitely back into the swing of things at work.

So. Back at it. Time to get with the program. Feeling refreshed and ready to be back at it.

Um.. so how long till summer?

'Tis the Season

2006-12-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

Coming out from the haze of being ill.. and the past few days run together and have a surreal quality to them.
Did I really say: "titty bars" in front of my Girl Scout co-leaders? (It's a long story.) Did I really just sit there quietly and not say anything remotely snarky or sassy when the doctor glibbly announced: "Well hello there. You are the proud owner of a very strep throat!"?
Did I really see that dog running the halls of my girls' elementary school?

I think being good and sick for a short while has some tangible benefits. For one, your appetite is diminished perhaps - and if you don't live on Christmas Cookies alone for the 3 or 4 days you're home sick - you might even lose weight.
Being home sick is good for reminding us that there is life outside of work. That the day to day stuff can and will manage to go on without you (except you still must drag your sick and unshowered self off to drop the kids off at school and daycare - and there are still lunches to pack and diapers to change).

Perhaps most of all, being sick for a while is good for reminding us to be grateful for our otherwise good health the rest of the time.

Although I was stuck in bed for a few days - I won't whine a bit. I just feel like reflecting on how fortunate or blessed I truly am.
I'm fortunate to have sick days at work I can take, that I don't get fired for missing work. Truly blessed that I have insurance to go to the doctor and can afford to pay for some medicine that'll make me feel better in a few days.

I know a wonderful young father who is exactly my age who has become wheelchair bound from ALS. I know he wishes he could take some penicillin and feel better in a few days.

And, as I waited in the doctors office an elderly woman who I imagine is impaired from stroke was left, with no one to speak for her, by the MediVan driver.
When the nurse called her name she meekly raised her hand.
The nurse loudly asked her over and over "Who else is with you? Myrtle, where is your blah blah blah.?" I could see her (Myrtle) visibly recoiling from this woman who was shouting down at her. She wasn't hard of hearing (though aged) - she tried very hard to answer the questions but just couldn't speak loudly or clearly enough to make herself heard by the nurse.

I did something I don't normally do - I spoke up and intervened. Because the nurse was literally standing close enough to me to touch, I gently touched the back of her arm and said: "The medi-van driver left her just now and said he would return for her in 15 minutes. He had another rider to drop off. Then he'll be waiting just outside. She doesn't have her son or care worker with her today." This is what I'd overheard from her conversation with the MediVan driver, who'd handed her (no joke) a "Your Pregnancy" magazine to read as she waited to be called.

I can tell what an upbeat woman (despite the adversity of old age) Myrtle must be - because she took the pregnancy magazine and smiled a wry grin and laughed to herself.. and then paged through it for a while.

The nurse thanked me, Myrtle's eyes smiled at me, and my daughter who was huddled in my lap smiled shyly back at Myrtle. That was a moment of grace for each of us.

So - between the hustle and the bustle of trying to get everything done this holiday season I'm getting to my usual December state of mind:
Reviewing the year that is coming to an end. Counting my blessings. And feeling grateful - very, very, grateful indeed.

Close up..

2006-11-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

Erin's Quilt_3
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

In case you want to see the beautiful machine quilting done by Julie from Fat Quarter Quilt Shop.. here's a close up shot. I love what she did.
In case you're a crafty type like me - maybe you'll want to know this:
I did everything by hand. Except the quilting. I know, I know - that's backwards from how most folks do it.
I hand cut, piece and bind my quilts. I just don't hand quilt. I've tried it and don't like it - and I'm all about hobbies only being about the parts you like. So, I machine quilt the small (baby) quilts myself or send them out to someone with a frame and a good professional quilting machine. Someday when I win the lottery I'll buy a far nicer quilting machine & quilting frame for myself - until then, Julie saves the day.

Finally Done

2006-11-29T11:19:00.000-08:00

Erin's Quilt
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

I am thrilled that I have finally completed the baby quilt - though the baby is now 6 months old... I'm certainly not prolific, but I'm slow and steady.

Thanksgiving 2006

2006-11-29T11:17:00.000-08:00

turkeyday_girls_2
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

About as good as it gets. It was 50 degrees outside - everyone on Hubby's side of the family got together and the kids had a blast. The food was perfect, my SIL is a wonderful hostess and everyone was healthy, happy and relaxed. I'm sure we'll look back years from now and wish every year could be this simple and good.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T18:43:00.000-08:00

A short list of things I am especially Thankful for as I take time to reflect this Thansgiving:

It goes without saying that I am most thankful for healthy, happy, thriving (and smart and beautiful, if I do say so my own non-humble self) children. 2 of which can now wipe their own butts - and the remaining one is edging closer to an interest in using the potty on his own.. so life is getting far too easy.

I cannot help pause and be grateful my own children are young and safe at home with us - not in Iraq fighting in a quagmire of a war. As angry as I often am at the "leadership" and "foreign policy" (More like lack there of. I can't even type those without words in connection with our current administration without quotes..) of this nation, I am truly thankful that I and my children were born in this land of great opportunity - and many freedoms.

Also high on my list to be thankful for are the dear friends who I don't see enough of lately.

And my dear husband, who I now see MORE of thanks to a change in his job is also someone for whom I am ceaselessly grateful. Besides being one heck of a father and husband - he's my bestest friend and the steadiest presence in my life. He makes me a better person - makes me laugh and..well, I'd better stop there before I make people puke with a line like "he completes me" - a la Jerry MacGuire.

But beyond that - here are a few material or intangible goodies I've stumbled across in the past year that make life just that much better and make me grateful..

1. Audible.com - This American Life On Demand.
2. Pre-paid monthly parking pass card
3. Paradise Iced-Tea by Sara Lee
4. Target. I heart Target.
5. Simon Delivers.
6. Scouting Websites with oodles of good ideas and info.
7. Good health insurance.

Happy Thanksgiving

I love these spontaneous chats with the kids...

2006-11-22T06:32:00.000-08:00

An interesting talk from our minivan Monday night about what people are "good at" versus what they struggle with.

Oldest (step)daughter asked me: "Tell me something I'm bad at."
Frankly, I'm not sure what her motivation was in asking me this. The conversation was preceded by me saying something about how I know I'm not good at lots of things - but I'm good at guessing how long it will take for us to get from point A to point B in the car.. that I have a good gut feel for that sort of thing. Anyhow - she persisted and this is how it went:
---------------------
Em: Tell me something I'm bad at. Really.
Me: Well, how about I tell you about the "sandwich" method?
Em: OK. How's that?
Me: Well, you start with a positive thing - that's the squishy white bread on the top. Then you give the meat: the sandwich middle. That's the bit to chew on and think about - the criticism. Then you follow that with another positive - another slice of squishy white bread.
Em: OK. Go.
Me: Well, first off you are very empathetic - do you know what that means?
Em: Yeah.
Me: (droning on and on)... you have the most kind generous giving heart. You are very sensitive to other people and--
Em: (impatient) - OK OK, tell me what I'm bad at.
Me: (hesitant) Um, well, when you want to play with something you dump it all out and often move on to the next thing.. it's like the organization thing your teacher mentioned. You need to clean up and get things set back where they belong before you move on to the next thing..or else you'll lose things. Like those --
Em: (totally unimpressed.) Oh. Is that all?
-----------
What? She expected me to say: "Oh, well you struggle with a deep secret we've never told you. See, you're actually a princess in a faraway land and we've been raising you here in suburban Minnesota so you can have a chance at a normal childhood."

Me thinks she's seen one-too-many Disney movies perhaps.

It reminds me of the reaction I've been getting to this burn on my hand. People stare and don't want to ask - and then sometimes pluck up the courage to ask about this big 2 inch open sore on my hand.
"Ohhhh.. What happened to your hand?"
And every time I say: "Oh, burnt it getting muffins out of the oven" this look of total disappointment flashes on their face. So last night Hubby and I came up with a more salacious answer for my future use.

Next person who asks me gets THIS:

"Oh. I did a very bad thing. I ironed his shirts ALL WRONG. So he HAD to teach me a lesson. It's all my fault that I angered him so..."

Seems to me that's the sort of answer people are hoping to hear anyhow - some deep dark secret or somesuch rather than just hearing that I was half-asleep and/or clutzy baking blueberry muffins over the weekend.

And yes, that's just the sort of sick humor we have at my house.. my apologies if I've offended any REAL battered women. The only battery that occurs at my house is me injuring myself running into walls, tables, and all manner of furniture. This is why my first choice in home furnishings always involves ROUNDED CORNERS. And there's your REAL deep dark secret for the day.. I buy only rounded edges on furniture.

Having Fun at the Cube Farm

2006-11-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

carpet_treat
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

I still have leftover Halloween candy in a big ol' bowl in my cube. Today I was nibbling on some milk duds and one fell. I looked everywhere - but couldn't find it. Then I was instantly worried.

If you didn't know it was a milk dud and you ran across this small brown thing on the carpet at work - what would YOU think? I'd wonder if someone tracked in poo, personally. Apparently that's where MY brain goes.

So.. instantly my next thought was (pure evil)... I ought to sprinkle some all over the building.. perhaps near the doorways to bathrooms just to see how people react.
My third thought, all in short succession, is how funny it'd be to freak people out by plucking one off the carpet and eating it.

There is nothing that strikes me as more funny then that sort of Will Ferrell-esque totally inappropriate actions in public sort of humor... and I have a long list in my head of things that would make me laugh pretty hard that would probably strike others as totally inappropriate behavior.

Thankfully I'm too introverted (and like my job and coworkers too much) to let my "inner-Will-Ferrell" out.

The difference between 2 and 3

2006-11-10T10:40:00.000-08:00

So, I was enjoying some lunchtime blog reading and have remembered why I got a blog.
See, before I had a blog I would leave these REALLLLY long comment posts on other people's blogs when something they wrote struck a chord with something I could relate to, too.
Today that happened again. I read this post:

Crunchy Mama Post Link here

And started commenting away. I stopped myself when I realized it was getting far too long. Like, printed, single space 3 pages too long.

So, for baby Caity's mom, and to any other mom's out there pondering a third child.. here was what I was writing in the comments section:

We have 3 beautiful healthy children. #3, Mr. Man, just went up to a "big boy bed" not too long ago (and has even more recently regressed to needing to sleep in our bed..but that's another story.) - not unlike Caity. It's simultaneously wonderful to see their growing independence, and terribly depressing because they're only so little for only so long and then poof! - grown up, sassy and "don't need you, just hand me the car keys, mom".

I sometimes do the wistful sigh and wish outloud for another baby..but hubby is done, really really done, at 3. Looking at our checking account balance today I'd have to say that's a fiscally responsible stance on his part. I've just started buying the first few Christmas presents.. and it's going to be rough going doing it cash-only this year. Goodbye humble savings account, we hardly knew 'ye.

We look after a 4th child once a week and for occasional overnights or short weekends so we're used to managing 4 kids -- it's no big thing for us. However, that 4th child is not ours to feed, cloth and finance for college education (yet).
So, the problem isn't really lack of time, energy or attention for another child - we already do not have enough of any of those - and perhaps were already stretched well before #3.
At this point it's mostly financial and space (we have a tiny house) constraints that make adding another family member a difficult proposition.

Once while saying out loud (I think a coworker brought her baby in - and I got a whiff of that new baby smell and was weak in the knees) that I sure wish could have more babies and that I'd still like to adopt more kids my coworker who has 7 kids (yes, 7) said: "Once you've managed 3, it's really no big thing. You wouldn't even know the difference. The real struggle is from 2 to 3."

On reflection I think he must be right. #3 is what pushed us over the edge in a lot of ways. For one thing you've moved from man-to-man to zone defense. Secondly, you have to start asking the older or more ambulatory children to pitch in and be your extra hands, eyes and ears from time to time. More than before. And you lie to them and yourself and say it's helping them "bond" and this is what it's about to be part of a family. And then you plunk down cold hard cash called "allowance" so that they continue to help out without being embittered.

After #3 I remember hearing these words leave my mouth more often: "Yell down to me if your baby brother starts to drown, OK?" or "Please tell me if he gets too near to the fire place." (These are rare examples, please do not call CPS - my kids are happy, healthy and well-cared for I swear!)

So, for those of you thinking about 3.. here's my own personal observations:

A. Day care for 2, tight but manageable. Day care for 3 - a total Freakin' ton of money. We pay for 2 (NICE) BMW leases each month. ($1800)

B. #3 made us move up to the minivan (we'd been ok with regular 5 passenger cars until we needed more than 2 car seats + a booster)

C. #3 is who has me convinced we have truly outgrown our 3BR, 1400 sq foot house. He is using every last square inch and climbing up the walls.. I think we need more space for him to roam and/or climb.

Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE Mr. Man. I am SO happy I have all 3 of my beautiful children in my life and love them deeply, primally and more than words could ever express.
But dang if they aren't expensive. And the move from 2 to 3 was really hard.

So - if life is getting too easy with 2 and you wonder if it won't be a big deal to go to 3. Oh, it will. 3 is far different than the difference between 1 to 2. (And I know that makes no mathematical sense.) It's a big leap. If you can barely cope with what you've got - think hard before making that leap.

That said, I don't think you will EVER regret bringing another little person into your family, heart or life. So, it's no-lose situation. Even if you look at your empty wallet and say: "Dang, I guess mommy can't get her hair colored anymore" - you will never resent that it's because of this new beautiful child who's...hey, are you writing on that wall?! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! DO NOT TOUCH THE CAT! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!

The one in the Green shirt..

2006-11-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

Amy@ the Fair
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

is the one I'm voting for. Hubby took this back in August at our annual trip to the "Great Minnesota Get-Together" - and it's a lovely picture of my neck and the back of my head...and then, just to the left of that...the political candidate we're both rooting for on Nov. 7th.

Hubby met Average Joe this afternoon - but Amy is the candidate we most hope wins this coming week at the polls.

Welcome to the 'Burbs

2006-10-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

after-midnight2
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Chuh... as if we'd be up that late anyhow. Caribou closes at 11pm.

Driving a Shift - and I don't mean a manual transmission..

2006-10-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

Buried in an article about trends in the Finance pages of the NY Times is a powerful quote:

“We are perhaps on the first step to a matriarchal society; women will earn more money than men if current trends continue by 2028,” said Michael J. Silverstein of the Boston Consulting Group. “The trend has been escalating in the last 10 years as there has been a gradual, slow erosion of the power balance in the family, a psychic rebalancing.”

NY Times Article Link here

Women, Mr. Silverstein added, are “controlling purchases and driving a shift in our economy.”

So. If this is true..
CARIBOU COFFEE I AM A WOMAN - LISTEN TO ME! I am driving a shift in the economy!
You should ALWAYS, I repeat ALWAYS have Mango Iced Tea available. Every location, every day. That Irish Breakfast and Pepppermint - that's crap.
Brew mango iced tea daily, please. Otherwise you will miss out on hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars of my purchases annually.

Thank you.

Thank You Holly

2006-10-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

mom
Originally uploaded by mobycat92.

Every photo of me or my family that I have that I love has been taken by my dear friend Holly. I love this photo so much.. it was me saying goodbye to Mr. Man just before Holly and I went to go see a live Prairie Home Companion show.

Letting My Roots Show

2006-10-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

I sent some humorous links to my hubby yesterday - two places on the internet I frequent. He commented that they were very "me" - he recognized the humor was identical to the sort he's come to expect from me after these years together.

These two sites are by talented Central Ohio folks - living in my hometown of Columbus, OH. Coincidence? Or.. do all good things come from central Ohio?

See this post if you aren't sure: Why Ohio is Cool

And, even if you weren't born Buckeye, you might just like the humor I enjoy at:

Natalie Dee

and

Toothpaste for Dinner